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I had not realized how hungry I was until the first spoonful touched my tongue.

Zeno spoke quietly with Demitri, while I listened without understanding any of it. Names I’d never heard before were mentioned and discarded.

Demitri answered in short sentences.

He had returned to that internal room where feeling was folded away so function could take its place. I understood why, but I hated it anyway.

Ayla eventually turned to me. “Is your room comfortable, Adriana?”

“It’s beautiful.”

After dinner, Zeno was pulled away by one of his men. Demitri went with him after a brief look in my direction. I knew he didn’t want to leave me. I also knew whatever they were discussing had to do with keeping me alive. He left reluctantly. That reluctance stayed with me longer than it should have.

Ayla and I moved to a sitting room, where we took our after dinner drinks.

“Tea?” She asked.

“Yes, please.”

I sat on the edge of the sofa and accepted the cup.

For a moment, we listened to the fire crackle.

I looked into my cup. “How long have you been married?”

“Almost a year.”

I glanced up. “Only a year?”

“Yes.”

“You seem…” I searched for the right word and failed.

“As if we’ve been ruining each other’s peace for longer?”

That pulled a smile from me. “A little.”

Ayla watched the fire for a moment. The light moved over her face, catching on the strength there and the old wounds beneath it.

“It was an arranged marriage. Necessary for reasons that mattered at the time.”

“Were you afraid?”

“Oh yes. It was not something I did willingly.”

Her honesty settled between us.

“You were afraid of him?” I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice.

“I was never scared of Zeno Orsini. Contrary to what people believe, there’s nothing scary about him. I was scared mostly of what marrying him meant. Zeno is not an easy man to belong beside.”

“But you seem so happy,” I said softly.

“I didn't expect to fall in love with him. I expected terms. Boundaries. A life I could survive without giving him too much of myself.” She looked toward the doorway, and her expression shifted. “Then he kept showing up in ways I didn’t know how to defend myself against.”

I understood that too well. A hand at my back. A man standing between me and the world before I had to ask. A priest, I had to remind myself.

“What happened?” I asked.