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“Why wouldn’t you claim your mate?” Avery asked, almost sadly.

Even if I wasn’t the one who saved the helpless, the fact was, I knew nothing about love. And no, one didn’t have to love an omega—it was in their nature to serve, tirelessly, endlessly, and never expect tenderness or devotion in return—but my omega deserved to be worshipped. He had the sweetest, darkest, bottomless blue eyes, and when he smiled, they glowed, and really, he did not need me ruining his whole life. Being tied to me would be a fate worse than death. I’d have him smothered and all the happiness wrung out of him in a month. Without me, there would be someone. Many, many suitors. And even though the very thought made me murderous… he was mine after all, it was, without question, the right choice for him. I knew that in my soul, and in the dark, shadowy places in my heart.

“Deacon, answer,” Graeme commanded.

I gestured at myself and then at the machines I was hooked up to. “Think about it for a second,” I whispered. “The answer will come to you.”

“That’s why you change your life,” Graeme told me. “There’s nothing more important than finding your mate.”

I shook my head as there was a knock on the door. My food had arrived, and I was happy for the interruption, but surprised that no one left.

“I’m going to have to shift to my wolf to eat,” I told them all. “You need to go.”

“We need to talk to you some more,” Avery told me. “We’ll wait outside.”

They all left except Gigi.

“You should––”

“Stop,” she commanded in that imperious way she had at times. “I spoke to the nurse, who’s lupine certified, and she said where the IV is connected is safe. So when you shift, it will be fine, but don’t get off the bed. I will, of course, take the monitor off your finger.”

I exhaled sharply. It was so like her to check on something I hadn’t even considered. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” she whispered, unwrapping the three raw porterhouse steaks for me, each thirty-two ounces, two inches thick, and put them on a tray at the end of my bed.

She then untied the top of the hospital gown, stepped back, and turned around, giving me my privacy. And yes, it was a lot of meat, but I had eaten nothing in days, and my body needed protein and iron. As lupines, our bodies processed food not like men or animals, but something else altogether. I shifted, the gown falling to the bed as I did, then turned and ripped and tore at the meat, gulping it down in chunks I barely chewed, swallowing fast. I had them finished in minutes, the ripping and tearing helping to move my thoughts from my mate to the primal need for sustenance.

Gigi filled a bowl she’d brought from home with water for me, and I drank in gulps until I was sated. Normally, there were small meals and sips of water after severe injury, but the prolonged rest had made that impossible. When I shifted back, I nearly fell off the bed, my balance upset with the intake of food, the rush of my body working to digest the meat, everything else neglected for a moment.

“Careful.” Gigi retied the gown before moving the bloody tray so she could cover me with the sheet and blanket again. Once she returned from the bathroom after rinsing the tray, she poured bottled water into the crystal decanter for me. Then she stood beside my bed and stared down at me.

“Why did you bring that ridiculous thing from home? They have plastic pitchers here for a reason. They don’t want things to fall and break into a thousand pieces.”

“Water tastes terrible from plastic. You know that. And I won’t have you drinking tap water at the hospital. That can’t be remotely good for you.”

I smiled at her. “I’m gonna pass out now,” I told her after she used a washcloth to wipe my face and neck, making sure any blood was gone, then pushing my hair back so she could see my eyes better. “But thank you for being here and taking care of me.”

“I didn’t recognize him. Sasha, I mean, in the hall the other night. I knew he’d been in the room with you because the nurses told me. If I’d known he saved your life, twice, or even more so, known he was your mate, your true mate… I would have run him down.”

I shook my head even as my eyelids dipped once and then again. “Avery fits with Graeme,” I told her. “You fit with Stone. But Sasha doesn’t fit in my life. I can’t protect him and still do what I do, be who I am. And we both know I’m not gonna stop until I find out who exactly is selling out omegas.”

“It could be over. It’s quite possible that whoever this is will stop now that Theo has been arrested. I would. I’d go to ground and never let anyone know it was me. That’s the smart play.”

“Yes, but it’s an awful lot of money to give up,” I reminded her. “I don’t remember if Wade or Avery said what the omegas sold for, but I can’t imagine it was less than a half a million each. Once you get used to that kind of money… you don’t stop.”

“Yes, but really, they have to realize it’s dangerous.”

“But we have no idea what’s driving them. We don’t know.”

“I think you need to go and talk to your mate. That should be foremost in your mind,” she assured me.

“And put him in danger? C’mon, I’m not stupid. He stays safe as long as I stay away from him. If people realized he was my mate, they’d kidnap him and use him for leverage, and then he’d be dead. Think about it.”

While she was considering what to say to me next, I closed my eyes, and thankfully, there was no more conversation after that. At least, none that I remembered.

3

SASHA