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Shots and Barbs

Page 1

by Lily Mayne

Chapter One

Nuni

“D ude, why do we have to do this?”

My business partner, Felik, slumped lower in his seat, toying with one of the cufflinks he’d removed before rolling up

his shirt sleeves. I eyed them furtively. Were they new? Looked expensive. I should probably get myself some new ones

too.

“Isn’t this, like, assistant work?” he continued, picking up his can of grass-flavoured sparkling spring water with added electrolytes to take a gulp. My own can sat in front of me, along with my wheatgrass shot and a protein bar perfectly formulated for my pre-workout macros.

I was getting a little antsy myself at the thought of being late to the gym, but needs must, and it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to staying late at the office. The bullpen visible through the conference room’s spotless glass windows was already half empty, but several desks were still occupied. I noticed a few heads popping up and turning in our direction every other minute, like they wanted to make sure the bosses saw them putting in the extra effort.

“You want to leave this up to some assistants?” I swiped a finger over my tablet to unlock it, bringing up the list of ideas I’d had for our architecture firm’s ten-year anniversary event. “I had to pull major fuckin’ strings to get this planner, bro. She’s the best. We can only have the best.”

“Okay, but like, Bavia’s in town and I’m supposed to be meeting her in the Basalt’s bar at seven.” He sat forward and gave me an intense look. “Bavia, dude. You remember her? She was my plus-one to that awards thing last year, and she wore that tiny red thing? Legs all the way up to her ass, man. And enormous—”

“I remember.” I rolled my eyes. “We’ll be out of here by seven, dude. Chill. You’ll have all fuckin’ night with leggy Bavia.”

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed a beautiful woman’s company as much as Felik, but I also recognised that we hadn’t become this successful without putting business first. He could bitch all he wanted, but I wasn’t leaving the organisation of this event up to some assistants—at least not initially. One mistake or bad decision in the planning process, and we’d be a laughingstock.

My sibling Laki told me often that I was a control freak, but what the hell did they know? They were almost as much of a stoner as my brother Greid, plus they’d flitted around aimlessly after college, travelling and taking random jobs and just generally having no fucking direction in life.

How could people have no direction in life? I didn’t get it. I’d decided on a career path, knuckled down and gone after it, and now I was reaping the rewards. I had more money than I knew what to do with. I lived in one of the nicest nesthouses in the city, designed by yours truly. I looked fucking amazing.

Glancing at the heavy watch on my wrist, I realised the event planner and her entourage would be here any minute. After checking my hair in the reflection of the window opposite the conference table, I straightened my tie and tugged on my suit jacket cuffs to smooth out any wrinkles.

Felik’s suit jacket was draped over the empty chair beside him, his shirt sleeves rolled up and tie loosened. I pursed my lips, resisting the urge to snap at him to smarten up. We should make a good first impression. We should look our best. Why would you not want to look your best at all times?

My assistant, Lipa, hurried past the windows clutching her tablet. There was a rap at the door before she poked her head in. “Corva nir Feris is here, sir.”

“Awesome. You can bring her through, Lipa.” After she’d vanished again, I couldn’t stop myself from telling Felik, “Put your jacket on at least, bro. Make yourself presentable.”

He rolled his eyes but reached for it. “We’re hiring her, dude. You think she’s gonna turn down the fat wad of cash she’ll get for this just because I don’t have my fuckin’ jacket on?”

“You know that’s not the point,” I hissed, just as Lipa came back into view through the windows talking to a tall demiurgus woman in a black pencil skirt and a burgundy chiffon shirt.

I eyed the outfit critically as I stood and buttoned my suit jacket. Nice. Looked expensive. She had good taste, which boded well. There was a Loamington bag dangling elegantly by its handles from one elbow, which was another good sign. I’d bought enough of those bags for past girlfriends to know how goddamn expensive they were.

“Holy shit.” Felik was scrambling up and shoving on his jacket. “That’s her? Damn. Maybe I’ll text Bavia and cancel. Shit.”

I glanced at Corva nir Feris again, noting that yes, she was hot, but for some reason my gaze was drawn to the other woman walking beside her.

The human woman.

She only came up to Corva’s shoulder, which meant she’d be at least a foot and a half shorter than me. She was dressed well, but I had a keen eye and could see that her fitted pants and plain white shirt weren’t as high-end as Corva’s clothing. And there was a backpack slung over her shoulder. Not even a stylish one—just a plain black nylon backpack, similar to the one I took to the gym.

That was… fine. Not everyone cared about labels or designer clothing. She still looked smart and professional—put together. Her skin was brown, long, dark hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail, and I couldn’t see the colour of her eyes because she was looking down at the tablet in her hand.

Which, what? Why did I care what fucking colour her eyes were? I didn’t.

It was just… ever since my brother Greid had started dating a human—a tiny thing called Beryl with a mass of curly ginger hair—I guessed I’d just been noticing humans more. Honestly, I’d been trying to work out… well, what the appeal was.

Beryl was cute, I guessed, though she did kinda scare me, something I would never admit to even if I was being tortured. By Beryl. And she seemed to really love my grody dork of a brother for some reason, which was probably kinda nice if you were into all that romantic crap.

But she was still human. How did that even work? I hadn’t let myself ponder it too much seeing as Greid was my brother, and ew, no thanks, did not wanna be picturing that. But humans were just so different to us. They were all… small and tailless and obsessed with superhero movies for some reason. And dairy. Christ, they were all obsessed with dairy. They put dairy products on everything. Cheese, mayonnaise, ranch, sour cream. How did an entire species not know or care how fucking bad it was for them?