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Fuck, what was I doing? When had I turned into this pathetic mess who would willingly maim himself on the off-chance that he’d get to touch a woman? Was I a majestic Siberian Husky? Or was I just some… mangy mutt sniffing around for scraps.

Stop! I almost shouted at Kyli. Glue them back on! Give me acrylics! I am a strong, handsome, confident demiurgus who doesn’t need to disfigure his beautiful hands for a woman!

But it was too late. The claws were gone, and Kyli was aggressively filing down what remained of my middle claw until it was short and neat and blunt. I suppressed a cringe, feeling a little faint. Did my fingers look stubby now? God, no, anything but stubby fingers. Several past girlfriends had commented on how nice my hands were—masculine, just the right amount of veiny, with long, beautiful fingers. And devilishly handsome, curving claws.

I sat glumly, watching Kyli run her metal file over the sad stub at the end of my finger.

Maybe I will shove a finger up my ass, just so it wasn’t all for nothing.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Anita

“H ave you been here before?” I asked my sister as we followed our group into a swanky bar that had a definite red jewel theme. Which made sense, given its name: Carnelians.

We’d just finished my sister’s birthday dinner at a Japanese restaurant down the street. The Cimmerian District wasn’t

a part of town I’d been to often, but Devi’s best friend Tamyn lived here, so she knew the area well.

It was a Saturday night, so the bar was heaving. Its clientele was mixed, but definitely leaning more heavily toward demiurgus, seeing as the Cimmerian District had a largely demiurgus population. I liked it. The buildings were so interesting and looked gorgeous at night, with warm light coming through the stained-glass windows and the neon signs on bars and still-open stores glowing against the dark stone.

“Yeah, loads of times,” Devi answered as we fought our way to the bar, raising her voice to be heard over the din. “There’s another nice bar down the street called Abyss, but we come here more often.”

Devi and Tamyn—a demiurgus—had been inseparable since they’d met at Devi’s first job after we moved over from London. She’d just finished university and managed to land an internship at a publishing house in the city. Now she was Senior Editor for Non-fiction Titles, while Tamyn worked high up in the design department.

When we managed to reach the bar, Tamyn had already flagged down a bartender and was leaning forward to relay her drink order.

“Finally!” She wrapped her arm around Devi’s neck. “I’ve ordered shots.”

“Shots?” Devi shook her head. “We’re not in our twenties anymore, Tamyn.”

“Oh, come on. You only turn forty-five once.”

“That’s very true,” I told Devi solemnly when she looked at me for backup. “You do only turn forty-five once.”

She snorted. “I don’t know how impressed Mum and Dad will be if we both turn up hungover to my birthday lunch tomorrow.”

“We won’t.” I grinned at her, then nodded at the shots being lined up in front of Tamyn on the bar. “But you’re allowed to be. It’s your birthday.”

“No way.” She grabbed my arm. “If I’m doing a shot, you’re doing one too.”

I sighed in defeat, knowing she wouldn’t let me get out of it. At least they’re not flaming shots, I thought to myself, but it only made me feel a little lacklustre.

It had been three weeks since the sauna incident. Since I’d last seen var Rorik. We hadn’t bumped into each other at the gym. I’d made sure not to go early at the weekends, when I used the equipment on the main floor, because I didn’t trust myself around him.

I’d thought this ridiculous, confusing lust for him would fade. I barely knew him. We’d had two weird, brief sexual encounters, and that was it.

It hadn’t faded. I was edgy. I kept having moments where I regretted my decision. I found myself furtively watching Corva in her office at work and weighing up the likelihood of her ever finding out if I did have sex with Nuni var Rorik again.

But Hustin had been right when he’d said I couldn’t keep going back and forth. It wasn’t fair. And var Rorik had probably moved on by now anyway. Found someone else to have desk sex with. I’d given him a taste for it, and now he probably had a different woman sprawled on his desk every evening, with her head thrown back in paroxysms of pleasure and her legs shaking wildly.

How dare they, I thought viciously, picking up my shot and downing it with the rest of our group, barely even tasting it.

“D’you think we’ll be able to find a table?” Tamyn called, handing Devi her gin and tonic.

“Doubtful.” I swept my gaze over the teeming bar, peering around tall demiurgus figures to try and spot any empty tables.

My stomach plummeted like a lead balloon when I saw a familiar head of lustrous black hair shot through with blue.