Page 128

Rafe

“What the fuck are you doing with his head?” I snapped, striding forward.

Beans lunged for the stack of chairs and grabbed the top one, then started jabbing it toward me like he was a lion tamer.

“Yah!” he cried. “Get back!”

“What the fuck?” I spluttered, stumbling back. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“We’re just messing around,” Frank said defensively, finally bringing his arms around to show me Dan’s head.

I stared in horror, the jelly from my half-eaten donut dripping into my palm. His hair was a wild mess, eyes wide and snapping with fury. A dirty sock had been stuffed in his mouth, held in place with a bit of tape. There was a dick drawn on his cheek in permanent marker.

“You little fuckers.” I started advancing again, hissing when Beans jabbed me in the stomach with a chair leg.

“Yah! Back, I say!”

“Stop fucking doing that,” I barked. “Give me his head now.”

“But we were just about to give him a haircut!” Frank told me brightly, producing a pair of scissors.

Dan’s eyes grew even wider as he stared at me pleadingly. He started yelling, the sound too muffled by the sock for me to make out any words.

“No,” I shouted. “Drop the scissors. Stop fucking hitting me with the chair, Beans!”

He wouldn’t. Frank set Dan’s head down on the table and lifted a hunk of his hair. I panicked and threw my half-eaten donut at him, missing completely. The donut splatted Dan square in the face, leaving jelly all over his nose and cheek as it plopped to the floor and he glared at me.

I cringed. “Shit, sorry.”

At least it had distracted Frank. He went, “Ooh, a donut!” and bent to grab it.

Beans was now shuffling side to side, periodically lunging forward with the chair. I looked down at the stapler in my hand, then flung it at him. He shrieked with laughter as it bounced off the chair, so I threw the boxes of staples, one after the other, finally managing to hit him in the knee.

“Ow!” He hopped a few times, then peered at me over the chair with a villainous smile. “Finally, a worthy adversary.”

“Beans.” Frank clicked his tongue and jerked his head. “Over here.”

Beans narrowed his eyes at me. Like a good little lackey, he finally set the chair down and slunk over to Frank, for some reason snapping his fingers ominously the whole time.

“There’s something wrong with you two,” I snapped, breathing harder as I strode forward to grab Dan’s head.

I froze when Frank immediately grabbed a hunk of Dan’s hair again and poised the scissors over it threateningly, his cheeks bulging with donut. Dan’s eyes widened.

“Nnnghhhuh,” he said through the dirty sock.

“Don’t do that,” I barked sharply, not daring to move an inch.

“But his hair’s wrong,” Frank said, making me frown at him in confusion. “We need to cut it.”

“And then he’ll be the perfect heeead,” Beans uttered darkly, before they both said in unison, “The perfect head.”

“You can’t cut someone’s hair without their consent.” I tried to keep my voice calm to show no weakness, even though they were kind of scaring the shit out of me. “You definitely can’t take someone’s fucking head without consent. You need to give it back.”

“We don’t play by society’s rules, sheep!” Beans cried at me.

“How do you think Holt will react to this?” I asked quickly, trying to think of anything that might stop them.

That made them both pause and look at each other.