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“I mean, really…” My voice was hoarse. Parched. I wet my dry lips. “Who wears… that? To fix a fence? He… he’s going to get a splinter.”

“Do you think he’s that tanned all over?” Neville asked, completely ignoring my question.

I know he is.

“Fuck me, look at those—” Neville wiggled a hand toward his side. “—the side muscle bits. The wings. They’re huge.”

“Lats,” I croaked, staring at them too. They were huge. So were his biceps. And his delts.

All of him was.

I knew for a fact.

Ewen crossed the boundary into my yard and propped the new panel up against the fence. Then he turned toward my house, gloved hands on his hips.

And looked up.

“Fuck!” Nev squeaked as we both ducked out of sight in sync. My heart was racing as we crouched, unmoving, under the window in silence for long seconds. Then Neville looked at me and whispered, “I’m going to look.”

My hand shot out to grip his arm. “No!” I hissed. “He’ll see you.”

“I have to, bro.” Nev shook his head, stuffing three chips in his mouth. “I can’t not look. It’s like staring at a solar eclipse. A muscular, skimpily dressed solar eclipse. You know you shouldn’t look directly at it, but… you’re stupid and you do it anyway.”

I swallowed as Neville peeked his head up to peer into the yard. A second later, he relaxed and said, “Okay, he’s not looking this way.”

I couldn’t stop myself from stretching up a little so I could peek too. Ewen was striding back into his yard, vanishing briefly from sight before he reappeared holding a bottle of water. My mouth grew even drier when he stripped off one of his gloves with his teeth, then shoved it into the waistband of his tiny shorts before opening the bottle to drink.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he tipped his head back to gulp down water. Nev started shovelling chips into his mouth faster and faster as he stared, transfixed, just like me.

Then Ewen pulled the bottle away with a sigh, before lifting it and tipping some water over his face.

Neville made a choked sound from beside me.

“Hnngh.” The involuntary noise that left my mouth wasn’t much better, and I tried to mask it by clearing my throat. “Well, that’s—”

I could’ve sworn a tiny smirk appeared on Ewen’s face, a second before he upended the bottle again, this time pouring the rest of the water over the front of his shirt.

Turning it translucent.

“Fuck me sideways,” Neville croaked.

“Alright, okay, well that’s…” I shook my head and let out a rough bark of near-hysterical laughter. My face was on fire. My dick was throbbing and already leaking, the tip sticking uncomfortably to my boxer briefs. “That’s ridiculous,” I finally managed, my voice humiliatingly hoarse. “No one actually does that. Does he think he’s in a nineties rom com or something?”

“Let the man live his life the way he wants, Rafe,” Neville said with surprising vehemence.

“But this—That doesn’t happen in real life.” I felt too hot and flushed as I stared down at my neighbour. His nipples had hardened from the cool water, and his tiny wet T-shirt clung to them obscenely. I could see his chest hair matted beneath the translucent fabric.

“Rafe.” Neville finally turned from the window to face me. He dropped the chip bag and clamped his hands on my shoulders.

I hurriedly cupped both hands over my junk so my best friend wouldn’t be subjected to the sight of my raging boner. There was no point even pretending that I wasn’t ridiculously hard.

“That did just happen in real life,” he told me, impassioned. “This is your life. Your life is becoming a nineties rom com. Embrace it.”

“How am I meant to do that?” I asked, staring at him dazedly.

“Fall in love with the blond-haired, blue-eyed guy next door.”

“Ha!” The incredulous bark burst from me reflexively, and far too loud. I clamped my hands over my mouth and cast a fearful glance at the window.