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“Sorry to hear that!” she repeated for a third time as I got a glass from the cabinet. Rafe looked like he could do with some water, poor guy. “So, we have had one or two reports of this happening. Each toy in the range is infused with Doctor Richard-Regina’s revolutionary sex magic, and I’m sure you’re well aware that sometimes, magic likes to play by its own rules.” She laughed lightly.

“Uh-huh.” I turned off the faucet and had a sip of water, then laughed. “Oh wait, Doctor Richard-Regina. I just got it. That’s good.”

“Dan,” Rafe shouted from the living room.

“Sandy,” I hurriedly said. “How do we fix this? I’ve got work in a couple of hours, and I can’t exactly show up with a pumpkin head on my… member.”

“No, of course not!” she chirped. “Well, the good news is that this only seems to happen—and only with an extremely small number of the Headless Horseman Cocksuckers—the first time you use it. Did you recently purchase the toy?” she asked brightly.

I glanced at the bag on the floor and smirked. “I did indeed.”

“And is this the first time you’re using it?”

“It certainly is.” I grinned over at the living room door.

“It’s just that Doctor Richard-Regina’s sex magic is so powerful that sometimes when it’s first activated, it can be a little strong. Plus, it’s formulated to keep your penis hard until you ejaculate into one of its two ergonomically textured, high-grade sleeves,” she added brightly.

It had two sleeves? That was interesting.

“Ah.” I smirked as I wandered back into the living room with the glass of water. “So you get the special surprise.”

“That’s right!”

“Well, I guess the problem, Sandy, is that it’s currently too tight and painful for me to ejaculate,” I said as I handed Rafe the glass of water. He groaned quietly in embarrassment but took it and had a tiny sip.

“Don’t worry!” Sandy said. “We’ve heard—from the very few cases in which we’re aware of this happening—that Doctor Richard-Regina’s high-strength sex magic will soon settle and even itself out.”

I nodded as I listened, standing beside the armchair and reaching down to run my hand soothingly over Rafe’s sweat-damp hair. He must’ve been feeling really sorry for himself, because he didn’t bat my hand away. He even leaned into the touch, still breathing shallowly.

“So rest assured that the sleeve will soon relax, and this shouldn’t happen again,” Sandy told me, then cheerfully added, “And you’ll be able to keep masturbating with one of Doctor Richard-Regina’s world-renowned, magic-infused sex toys!”

“I will certainly do that,” I told her earnestly. “Thank you for the reassurance, Sandy. You’ve been real helpful.”

“It’s my pleasure! You have a good day.”

“You too.” I hung up and grinned down at Rafe. “Good news, kitten. It should loosen up soon.”

“When?” he grated, gesturing at the pumpkin and almost spilling water everywhere. “It feels like it’s been on there for fucking hours.”

“You just have to be patient.” I took the glass from him and set it down as I got settled back on the footstool in front of him. Resting my hands on his knees, which were bouncing wildly with anxiety, I gave them a squeeze and grinned at him. “She also said it won’t happen again. So that means you can use the Headless Horseman Cocksucker to your heart’s content.”

Rafe flushed and looked away. It was probably inappropriate of me to let him know that he could use the real thing instead, if he wanted. Right?

Yeah, probably inappropriate, given the circumstances.

“I guess we just have to wait, kitten,” I said sympathetically.

He cringed and peeked at me. “You, uh, you don’t have to stay—”

“I’m not leavin’.” I frowned, then pursed my lips. “And seeing as we have to wait… I was actually planning on comin’ to talk to you.”

His shoulders hunched. He reached up and started anxiously fiddling with his eyebrow piercing. “We don’t need to talk about anything.”

“We have time.” I hesitated, then tentatively rested my hand on his knee again. “Rafe, if I’d known that the other night was your first time with a—”

“Seriously, Ewen?” He glared at me, face flushed. “You’re going to do this now?”

“I just want to say how sorry I am,” I hurried out. “For, uh, taking off so soon after. If I’d known it was… a special—”