Page 63

My first real, individual thoughts came when we stalked the woods, hunting. The beast was adamant that we had to find the skin-changer and eliminate the threat, but something about that felt wrong. I couldn't explain why, though, and I was too weak to do anything about it.

Getting shot weakened the beast enough for my human mind to reemerge, but it was the coyote attack that gave me enough strength to influence him. He would have fought until he was dead, which probably wouldn't have been much longer, especially after we smelled⁠—

I frowned, closing my eyes and trying to follow this new thread, but the memory flitted away before I could grasp it.

In the end, it'd taken everything I had to convince the beast we should flee.

We ran blindly, guided only by knowledge I didn't know I had, leading us away from any populated area where we would be spotted. When we saw the cabin, for a moment I'd wanted to keep running, until we smelled him. Sunshine and soil, new growth and the scent of the sky. I didn't understand why it drew us in, but the beast did, and I was too exhausted to fight him when he said Quinn was ours.

Now that I had more of my human mind back, though, I had questions, and for once, I had the time to ask them.

"Why did you call Quinn 'mine' when we first came here?" I asked. My voice drew the attention of the kittens now that they had full bellies, and I ended up with Athos and Porthos in my lap, while Aramis and D'Artagnan chased each other around the rug.

Because he is ours.

I could feel his confusion. Why would I question something we both knew to be true?

"But why? I don't remember much, but I know it's not normal for humans to go around claiming each other like that."

We are not human. Smug superiority radiated through the strange bond between us.

"No, but Quinn is. He might not understand. I know I don't."

If he'd been in control, he would have rolled our eyes at my human incompetence.

Instinct. He smells like…

I got a flash of images and sensations all at once, filling in the words he couldn't find. Home, comfort, the freedom of soaring through the sky. Stepping out of the den after a long winter and smelling spring in the air, a renewal of life and the promise of new beginnings. Everything that made life worth living, all wrapped up in one. That was what Quinn smelled like to the beast.

"He makes me feel the same way," I whispered, closing my eyes and letting that feeling wash over us. I didn't fully understand, but being with Quinn made me feel whole in a way I wasn't sure I ever had before. Life before the beast and I became one was still a blur, but something in the back of my mind whispered that it hadn't been the best. I had a feeling that Ori would have trouble finding anyone who was looking for me.

Even if they could find my home, though, what then? Would they accept what I'd become? Judging by the reactions of everyone who knew so far, I didn't think so. Could I handle finding a family I couldn't remember, only for them to reject me?

Quinn was different. He knew what we were, and even after we'd scared him, he stood by our side. He'd accepted the beast before he'd even known I was there, too. Would anyone else have done the same, or would they see a monster and let their fear take over?

No one else matters. Quinn accepts us, and that's all we need. Despite his confidence, there was a sliver of uncertainty biting into the bond between us. The more time we spent around humans and re-learned what living as one meant, the less sure he became. We'd survived this long thanks to his more feral instincts, but now we were out of our depth.

"That's assuming he even wants us after all this," I pointed out, eyes still closed. "We put him in danger by being here. Those men came for us and he got dragged into the middle."

We need to eliminate them. They're a threat. That, at least, was a problem he knew he could handle. But even that wasn't as simple and straightforward as he wanted to believe. We couldn't just kill anyone who upset Quinn.

"Easier said than done. I'm so weak I could barely feed kittens without losing my breath, and I don't know how to become you again."

Then we have to keep trying.

Changing the first time had been seamless. I don't remember deciding to do it or how I even knew that I could. When Quinn came home with handprints on his throat, pure rage lashed through both of us, blinding us to everything but him. We needed to know who had done this, because in laying hands on Quinn, they'd signed their own death warrant. We needed to know, but we couldn't ask in the beast's body.

The next thing we knew, the beast was the one in the back of our shared mind, and we stood before Quinn as a human. I didn't care how I'd done it, or I hadn't at the time. I just needed to know who'd hurt him so I could destroy them.

Looking back now, searching through everything I'd felt, I still couldn't figure out what the trigger had been. Anger, obviously, but we'd been angry when we were hurt and we hadn't changed. Above all, I knew I'd needed to protect Quinn. That was how we felt now, though, and we still held onto the human shape. As much as I tried to convince my body that the beast was better suited to protect our human, I couldn't make myself change.

"You try," I said finally, ceding control to the beast. Half an hour must have passed with no difference in our appearance. Maybe if I let him take control, he'd naturally be more drawn to his own body.

I let myself fade to the back of our shared consciousness, letting him take the reins. I had the sinking feeling that it wasn't going to work, but we had to try. Obviously, it was possible, so we must have done this before. The problem was, I still couldn't remember what had come before Quinn. This seemed like a pretty good time to try, though.

There hadn't been time to dwell on anything since we'd… escaped? Been set free? I didn't know what we were running from, only that fear had quietly dogged every step we'd taken so far. Even when the beast was in full control, following whatever ingrained instinct told us to hunt the skin-changers, there'd been a kernel of fear within us. Then we'd run into the humans with their guns and the shifters with their fangs and jaws, and everything else was forgotten. After we met Quinn, he had become our sole focus while we healed.

Now, though, we had a moment to breathe. Quinn was safe in town, watched over by our reluctant allies. No one knew I was here except the small group from this morning, and none of them benefited from betraying us. The beast was occupied with trying to change back, and all Quinn's animals were fed, watered, and content for the moment. I wouldn't get a better opportunity than this.