Page 83

"That's good news. I know you've been wondering." It came out hoarser than I would have liked, but at least it was genuine. The not knowing had been eating at Typhon and, more than anything, I wanted him to be happy.

"What if it's bad, though? If it were good, they'd tell me on the phone, right?"

"Maybe it's good and they just want to tell you in person in case you have questions," I countered gently.

"Maybe," he hummed, but he sounded doubtful. "What should I do?"

"It's hard to say until we know what it is Ori found. What does your other side think? Is he handling it okay?" The worry that Typhon would lose control to the chimera and change shape while he was healing had been a constant low-level worry, but so far it'd proven unfounded.

"He's been… quiet. Since the fight with the other."

I glanced over to see him frowning, staring off into the distance like he used to when he was talking to the other being inside him.

"Is he okay? Do we need to have Lelo try to examine him?" How she'd do that without Typhon changing shape, I couldn't say.

"He's healing, same as me, but…" Typhon tilted his head, then closed his eyes, falling silent. I couldn't fathom the idea of an entirely separate entity sharing a mind and body with me, but Typhon seemed to find it normal. Then again, he couldn't remember life before the chimera had been there, so I suppose it was normal to him.

Like he sensed something was amiss with his people, Rom got up from his spot in front of the fire and came to the couch, resting his head on Typhon's knee next to where my hand lay.

Typhon opened his eyes again, giving Romulus a soft smile and stroking his head. "Thanks," he murmured to the dog. He took some time gathering his thoughts and when he spoke again, it was to me. "I think he's upset that he couldn't protect you. The beast inside me, not Rom," he corrected.

"He did protect me, though. You both did."

"If Wyatt hadn't caught up to us and shut down the other beast, we would have lost the fight. We'd already lost, really." Typhon turned his head, as if he couldn't look me in the eye while he said it.

Absolutely not. I would not let him stew in that. Carefully extracting myself from under his arm, I shifted on the couch to face him. When he wouldn't look at me, I placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face toward mine, gentle but firm. There was a faint glow to his eyes that told me the chimera was there, closer to the surface than he'd been in a while, both of them looking down in defeat.

"Losing a fight doesn't mean you failed, Typhon," I said, as firmly as I could when I was shaking inside. "The fact that you even tried at all is what's important."

"We should have been strong enough to save you, though. You are ours, and we let them take you. They hurt you."

I never thought I'd be relieved to hear someone talking about themselves as a 'we' instead of 'me', but I'd also never met anyone like Typhon before. Hearing both of them call me theirs sent a bolt of warm heat through me that was completely inappropriate for the conversation we were having, but I still welcomed it, letting it flow through me for a moment before pushing it aside so I could focus.

"You didn't let them do anything. We all thought I'd be safe going to work," I reminded him. Reminded them. "I'm an adult and we have a network of people on our side. It's not your sole responsibility to keep me safe, no matter what your instincts tell you."

"But this is our problem, and we got you caught in it. They could have killed you, and we were too weak to stop them."

"You are not weak. In case you've somehow forgotten, you're badly injured and have been since I met you. From what we know of where you came from, they changed you, stripped away everything that made you who you were, and kept you controlled by a collar that could have killed you."

Typhon lowered his head, long hair falling to cover his face, but didn't lean away from my touch. "I agreed to it, though," he whispered, so quietly I barely heard him. "I keep having flashes of memories, and I remember agreeing to be part of Krenshaw's experiment."

That was news to me, but there would be time to deal with that revelation later. Right now, the more urgent problem was the self-loathing I heard creeping into Typhon's voice.

"There was no way you could have known what he was going to do to you. I didn't exactly talk to him, but I know his type. He would have told you whatever lies you needed to hear to get you to go along with him. People like him see people like us as pawns, at best. Things to use and discard for their own gain."

My own memories, the ones I kept under lock and key so they could only creep out to haunt me in my dreams, rattled against their chains. Typhon's story was painfully familiar.

"I should have fought harder, though. I should have been smart enough to see what he was doing. He turned me into a monster, and I don't think I did anything to stop him."

Romulus whined softly and laid his head on Typhon's knee, the same way he did to me when I was in the midst of an anxiety attack. All I wanted was to take him in my arms and hold him as tightly as I could, to keep him safe until the darkness passed, but I couldn't, not with how injured he still was. I wouldn't be another person who hurt him, even accidentally.

Instead, I gently tilted his face back up, fingers brushing against his warm skin.

"Typhon, look at me," I urged when he kept his eyes averted. I waited, keeping my touch soft and hopefully soothing, until he finally did. Like I'd feared, the look in his eyes was one of pure disgust and disappointment, all directed at himself, along with a too-familiar fear.

I knew that fear. I'd felt it every time I didn't tell anyone when Aaron degraded me and put me down. It had burned in me when Lain rescued me after Aaron's assault. It was the deep, soul-searing fear that my problems would be too much for anyone else to bear. The fear that Lain would see how truly, utterly broken I was and realize he couldn't handle it and walk away, leaving me all alone again. It was the look of a person waiting for the sword to fall and sever the gossamer-thin thread of hope that kept them tethered in the storm.

I couldn't let Typhon take another breath thinking I would abandon him.