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She would go and see Connor in his office. Take the personal out of it, not have the confrontation at home, because if he told her something she didn’t want to hear she didn’t want to find out about it in their home.

It might sound silly, but if Connor wanted to go, she would stay in her apartment.

And it was her apartment. He’d moved to her place after they’d got together during the investigation of the diamond theft at Matsu diamond mine. He’d suspected her to start with, and then they’d worked together. It hadn’t taken her long to fall for him.

How can you do this, Connor?

How can you do it to me and Ruby?

As she walked around the apartment, Dru gradually realised there was very little of Connor in it, all the furniture, all the prints, and all the colours were her choices. She’d expected to live alone when she’d decorated it. But to be fair, he had paid off her mortgage when they married.

Until she met Connor, there was no way that Dru had been looking for a relationship. She was a loner, and she wasn’t prepared to give her heart because she’d seen what that had done to Mum when Dad died. She’d sworn she would never depend on anyone, and now, because she’d broken that promise to herself, here she was in the same situation because, damn him, she loved Connor with everything she had, and if he left her, she would be broken-hearted.

‘Mummy, can I have some brekkie now, please?’ Ruby stood in the doorway, holding her special blanket under one arm and her Lambsie in the other.

‘Of course, you can, darling, and what lovely manners you have. Come out and cuddle me.’ Ruby climbed into her lap and Dru put her arms around her little girl and nuzzled into her soft, sweet-smelling skin.

‘Mummy, are you crying? There are tears on your cheeks.’

‘Are there? Goodness me. I don’t know where they came from. My eyes must be very tired.’

Her heart broke as she imagined a life where Ruby was in shared custody.

After taking Ruby to daycare, Dru turned back towards the city. Connor’s office was in Mitchell Street not far from their apartment. She parked her car in the basement car park and headed through the waterfront precinct and across the esplanade.

To build her courage she set straight out along the path through the park that ran along Lameroo Beach. The day was bright and sunny, but there was a chilly wind blowing off the water. She pulled her cardigan around her shoulders, wondering if she dressed Ruby warm enough for the day.

After walking for half an hour Dru’s mind had eased a little and she took a deep breath.

She’d planned her approach. She was going to tell Connor that she’d been going for a walk in Bicentennial Park and decided to call in and see if he’d come for a coffee with her. Just the thought of having to make up an excuse had those blasted tears threatening again.

Before Ruby was born, coffee together was a regular day date, but now being home with a child, her walking habit had slipped.

Guilt began to rise in Dru and her stomach churned.

What else had she let slip? How much could she blame herself for Connor’s lack of interest in her? Has she focused too much on Ruby? Had going back to work part-time and the energy that took maybe taken away from the time she’d given to Connor? Maybe she’d brought this on herself.

Maybe he’d been lonely and maybe he’d met someone else who’d made him the centre of her world.

Connor was still the centre of her world along with Ruby, but she knew that she could be cold, and she could shut down. When she was tired after a day at work, and then coming home, cooking dinner and bathing Ruby, and then spending time reading her a story, and being a good mum had her attention to Connor slipped?

A rogue tear trickled down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. All this second-guessing was doing her head in, but she couldn’t help it. The regret added to the guilt now burning in her throat. Dru strode out, determined to get there more quickly, but a sudden stitch in her side had her catching her breath. She stopped, put her hands on the timber rail and looked out over the water. Maybe walking first hadn’t been such a smart move. The baby kicked and it felt as though his heel was stuck in her rib cage. She rested both hands on the fence and lowered her head, taking deep breaths as the stitch intensified.

She dragged in another deep breath as the baby kicked again.

‘Are you all right?’ A concerned female voice had her straightening up.

Dru lifted one hand and wiped the remaining tears from her cheek. ‘Oh, yes, I’m fine, thank you.’ Somehow, she found a smile for the two women who were standing close by looking at her with concern. ‘Just the baby kicking. I think I was walking too fast.’

‘Are you sure?’ the other woman asked. ‘You look very flushed.’

‘Yes, I’m fine.’

‘Why don’t you sit down for a while? We’ll walk with you to the next seat and make sure you’re all right. Do you have a phone with you?’

‘I do. Thank you, but really, I’m fine.’ Nevertheless, she let the two older women walk her to a seat, and she sat down.

Once they were satisfied Dru was all right, they continued. She put her head back and closed her eyes, letting the sun dry her tears.