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“I want more,” I admitted. “I miss reading. Is it silly?”

“Anything that makes you smile like that could never be silly,” he murmured. “Get as many as you want, grá. It’s nice to see you smile.”

“I smile,” I said, brows rising. “Often.”

He shook his head. “More now, yes, but when you arrived…I wondered which of us was truly the ghost in this place.”

His words stung. Not because they were cruel, but because he was right.

“You’ve got color on your face now.”

I touched my cheek, unaware that I’d ever been gray.

“I like seeing you happy.” He pushed to his feet. “Come on.” Wolfe held out his hand, fingers flexed for mine. “Let’s go get you your books.”

He didn’t upset me, but his words gave me pause. Made me think. Marissa had asked more than once to get drinks and dinner, and I’d always come up with an excuse not to go. When my friends got together, I was worried I would have nothing to talk to them about now. They were married and had children of their own. Not only was that light-years away for me, I wasn’t even dating.

I’d started writing to create a world where I was less alone, but that meant I was always somewhere else, zoning out at the dinner table, lost in a place I could never fully reach.

The curse of a writer, I thought.

To dream of worlds, but never belong to them.

To live my life, but only truly existing when a story let me go.

I had one foot in each world, torn between my heart and my head.

Silently, Wolfe and I headed into town. The sun was shining and we decided to walk and soak it in before the rain came again.

“Did I upset you?” he asked some minutes later. “With what I said?”

“No.” I kicked a rock down the path. “You’re right. I guess I just didn’t realize how far I’d slipped away from everyone. This place has been nice,” I said. “I like seeing how close everyone is.”

“But you’re still watching,” he scolded gently. “You need to live it, Avery. Step inside it. Let yourself feel it.”

I nodded, because he was right again. Nothing good came from hovering on the outside, keeping myself away from everyone and everything. Part of having a heart was letting it break—to feel every beautiful and painful moment of being alive.

“I wish I’d done it more.” Wind ruffled his hair. “Wish I’d put the pen down long enough to spend nights with my family instead of working.”

I looped my arm through his, head resting on his shoulder. His hand covered mine, strong fingers brushing over my own.

“If I am ever lucky enough to see them once more, I’ll never waste a moment of it again.”

“I hope you do,” I said softly. “I will…” I cleared my throat. “I’ll miss you.”

The days were slipping away from me in earnest now. A month of Kilmorran had already come and gone. This time in four weeks I’d be packing up my things and heading back to the airport. Thinking of leaving him, leaving the peace of this place, made it hard to sleep at night.

I knew in my bones I couldn’t stay.

He would never allow it.

He made a startled, strangled sound. “Oh, grá,” he murmured, “I will feel the loss of you for centuries to come. The ways I’ll miss you…” He shook his head. “I’ll never be able to express it to you properly.” He settled his hand on his chest. “You’re an ache I’ll always carry, Avery Eden.”

“I can’t talk about this now,” I croaked, tears blurring my vision.

“Aye.” Wolfe tucked me closer. “This is no time for goodbyes. We need to find you more books.”

I grinned a little. “And new ways to scandalize you.”