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Maybe it’s the guilt I feel for leaving Robin abruptly.

Maybe it’s the guilt I feel for all the things I cannot change.

I used to be able to forget and keep my past buried deep in the back of my mind, but now it feels like I brought Cottondale back home with me.

I blame it on the unfinished business with Darlene and tell myself it will all be different once I come back for good after the funeral.

Just before I drift off, my thoughts wander to Robin.

I hope she’s not mad at me.

Chapter 14

Robin

“I can’t be handing out permits. These things take time,” the mayor announces for what feels like the millionth time.

“Well, how do I apply for one? I’m sure it’s possible.” I know I sound frustrated, but I have been here for the past thirty minutes asking for permission to use Town Square Park for Darlene’s funeral.

The idea came to me last night, and I thought it would be perfect. It’s right in the center of Cottondale, which Darlene would love, and there’s beautiful gazebo that could be decorated.

“Not on such short notice. This will take months.” He scratches his grey beard and gives me an apologetic look.

Although I’ve had a run-in or two with the mayor before, this is my first time in his office. He’s in his late fifties, with grey hair and a beard that needs a trim. His whole demeanor gives off an air of friendliness and casualness. Another reason why I thought this would be easy and that he’d be excited about my idea. I guess being approachable doesn’t mean being helpful.

I take a deep breath. I expected there to be some hurdles involved, but I didn’t think it would be entirely impossible.

“What exactly is needed? Is it an insurance issue? Do we need the fire department or someone present in case of an emergency? I swear I can get all these––” I stop abruptly as he pats my shoulder awkwardly.

“Miss Thomas, I apologize, but it simply cannot be done. I have a phone call in five minutes, so if there’s anything else I can do for you, then please let my secretary know.”

I know I’ve been dismissed. I take a step backwards and give him my fakest smile. “Thank you anyway. I’ll be in touch.”

He nods like he is incredibly proud of himself, although he didn’t do anything. Maybe that’s what he’s proud of. I get the sense he simply doesn’t want to deal with me or this event. Approachable my ass; he’s just lazy.

I practically sprint past the secretary on my way out of the small office and give her a quick wave goodbye. There’s nothing she can do for me.

Once I’m out in the street, I groan loudly. This has not been my week. Or my month. I’m on the verge of tears, and I contemplate just slumping down on the pavement and having a good cry. My impending eviction, Hayden, and the event planning have taken up all my time, and I feel as if I haven’t had a chance to breathe. At least it’s stopped raining for a few minutes.

My phone rings, and I pray it’s not the real estate agent again. She’s been pushy about the apartments she sent over, and I haven’t had the energy to let her know that I hated all of them.

I smile when I see it’s my mom instead. “Hey, Mom.” I try to keep my voice steady so she can’t hear that I was on the verge of a mental breakdown just seconds ago.

“Honey, hi.” I can barely hear her over the loud music thumping in the background.

“Where are you? It’s so loud,” I shout into the speaker.

“Puerto Rico! Robin, it’s beautiful over here. You must come on a cruise with me soon. You’re missing out spending all your time in a stuffy funeral home.”

I sigh. “Yes, I’d love to do that someday. But you know I have a job, and it’s not that easy to take time off, and I’m working on this big event––”

“Oh, life is too short to be so focused on work,” she interrupts. “I mean, you’d think you’d get a reminder of that every day seeing all those corpses.”

“I don’t actually see the corpses. I’m responsible––”

“Hold on,” she shouts. I hear her order a drink and laugh at something I can’t make out.

I wait patiently, but I’m slightly annoyed. She’s never understood that not everyone can just travel all the time. I don’t know how she affords to do it, but I definitely don’t have the money. I regret that I picked up the phone. I feel so frustrated, and I worry I might snap at any moment. What I need is to go home and have a good cry and maybe punch a pillow.