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David fingered the wood. Philip Mowbray must have had a strong code of ethics. Perhaps he would have been a good husband to Anna, as much as it killed David to admit it.

“I wasna afraid to die,” Colum continued. “I was ready. I’d done my duty. I would be glad to die for my king and for my clan. But then, when I was spared…I was asked to join the English side. And when I refused…” His voice broke. “They did something. Nae to me…to someone else. Something I could never reveal…something I could only put an end to by switching to their side. So, betraying my clan and my king, I said aye.”

“Look, man, you were put in an impossible situation. How did you get back?”

“My uncle Aulay and my clan came for me a year later. They fought the English to get inside the castle, only to see that I wasna a prisoner nae more. That I was wearing English clothes and carrying an English sword.”

“Oh…no.”

“My uncle gave me a choice. The clan would take me back if I wanted to go. Or if I’d truly sworn my allegiance to the English, they would leave me alone and return home. I was still a MacDonald and a Highlander. So I left with my clan. Even though everyone kent I had switched sides.”

David felt for him. Trapped in the Middle Ages, David had had to adapt and act like a medieval Scotsman, even if it meant killing enemies to protect others and to survive. Something he never would have considered acceptable in his own time. Colum had to do the same thing with the English. Only, Colum had escaped that life when his clan rescued him. David, on the other hand, was still imprisoned. And always would be. “Damn. That’s why Marcas and others are still wary of you.”

“Aye. Now I have sworn an oath to dedicate the rest of my life to serving my king and my clan. I’ll do whatever it takes to restore my honor. I will die for my king if I must.”

Sadness weighed on David. Colum’s determination was admirable. He had his future carved out for him; he knew what he was doing, and he had a goal.

David’s future was forever lost. The future he’d wanted his whole life. College. A good job. A career. To distinguish himself. To start a business. To prove that his dyslexia would not weigh him down.

He’d never have that now. Even though he loved Anna, was that enough?

The shores of the loch were receding into the distance, the birlinn entering the open sea. Aulay called for Colum, and he left.

David saw Anna making her way through the boat, holding on to the boxes and the mast and then coming to stand by his side. A warm wave of tingles shot through him at her presence. He hadn’t really talked to her since the day before the wedding, and he’d missed spending his days and nights with her. Her hair was floating in the wind, her dark eyes shiny and deep as she looked at him. Her cheeks had gained color, her hair was shiny and her full lips red. He ached to kiss them, to drink her taste again, to nip at her lower lip.

“Are you allowed to talk to me now?” he asked.

She looked back at Laoghaire and then forward at Aulay. Both were staring at her with frowns. “I think ’tis safe that I wilna strip my clothes and cling to yer neck when there are fifty people around.” She chuckled.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Aye, just a wee bit nauseated.”

He ached to take her into his arms but settled for covering her hand that lay on the wooden side with his. Hers was cold and small and silky. “You know I won’t leave you now. I won’t let you down, Anna. You don’t need to worry.”

Anna squeezed his hand back and was silent for a while as she watched the water moving under the birlinn. “David, ye shouldn’t stay.”

He blinked. Something cold and heavy weighed at his stomach. “What?”

“Look…David, I am nauseous because of the ship, nae because I’m with child. I got my courses earlier today, I just didna tell anyone.”

Cold shock hit him. She got her period… So there’d be no baby? Loss, sharp and sad and heavy, wrestled in his gut. “Are you sure it’s your period? Not pregnancy bleeding?”

She smiled sadly. Her thumb fingered the indent in the boat. “I am sure. Ye dinna need to worry. ’Twas nae pregnancy. Only a few days late. All the events of the past weeks must have been hard on my body. So, there’s nae reason for ye to stay. Ye may leave. There’s a rock on Islay, I’ll bring ye to it.”

His windpipe tightened, and sadness prickled at the backs of his eyes. He didn’t know he would feel so disappointed, so at a loss. He realized then how much he actually liked the idea of having a little family with Anna, even if it would be here, in medieval Scotland. He must have grown up. He was ready to live the life of a man, not a boy.

He turned to her and took both her hands in his. “I still want you to come with me. Let’s get married here, or in the future, and go through the rock together. Please, Anna. Come with me.”

The skin where he was touching her hands was charged with soft electricity. He was flying now, floating in the air holding her hands. Her eyes were big and glossy as she watched him. The almond shape made him think of a cheetah, breathtakingly beautiful and yet wild and knowing her own will. She swallowed and bit her lip, shaking her head.

“Nae. I canna.”

Rejection hit him like a train. Pain radiated through his heart. “Why not? You can be free there, with me. We don’t even have to marry. But no one will ever force you to do anything you don’t want. You can learn a skill…maybe become a swim instructor…or a teacher of Gaelic…or…whatever you want. There are so many ways to make a living and have a good life. As long as we’re together.”

She pulled her hands from his, leaving an emptiness around his fingers. “I am needed here. Just as ye want to make a life for yerself in the future, I want to be useful here.”

The very air hurt as he took his next breath. “How?”