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She laid her head on his chest and listened to the weak beat of his heart. She brushed her fingers against the hospital gown and inhaled the scent of it—washed linen and hospital.
Brad didn’t even smell like himself anymore.
“I miss you so much I can’t breathe.” She swallowed a hard knot in her throat.
Her stomach, her chest, her throat clenched as hard as rocks. Her eyes burned.
“But I must let you go,” she said.
His dear, handsome face stayed impassive. “I was looking for your spirit in the ocean. I had thought maybe you lost it somewhere out there. That I could find it and bring it back.”
She cupped his bearded jaw.
“But instead of your spirit, I found something I never imagined was possible. I traveled back in time, and I met a man. A man who looks just like you. Maybe he’s your ancestor from Norway, or maybe it’s just a crazy coincidence. Or destiny.”
She stroked the side of his face. “I fell in love with him, Brad. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry if you feel I betrayed you. I really didn’t mean to. All I wanted was to return to you and for you to return to me. He helped me, and I’m back here thanks to him. But the life I thought I’d been fighting for is gone. You’re not here anymore, and you’re never coming back, are you?”
Tears burned her cheeks, but she ignored them.
“Everything good in my life happened because of you. You are the only one who believed in me, you gave me strength, you lifted me up. Even that crazy time travel happened because of you. Even Andor. If you helped me find him, thank you, my love. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to you about him, but you are my best friend, and somehow, I feel you’re happy for me.”
She swallowed the hard knot.
“If you are watching over me from somewhere, thank you. I would do the same for you. And I’m so sorry you had to die because you chose me and because you protected me. I never wanted it to happen. Oh god, how I wish you’d never had that accident. How I wish you hadn’t chosen me. You’d be alive now, Brad. But you’re not, and I need to do the impossible. I need to let you go.”
She studied him, her chest empty. She cried silently and held his hand. When her tears dried up and she knew she couldn’t keep him here any longer, she leaned into him and kissed him gently on the side of the lips free of the tube.
“Goodbye, my love,” she whispered.
She lingered over him a moment, then stood up and called Eric and Linda back.
“I’m ready,” she said.
“Okay, honey,” Linda said.
They wrapped their arms around her shoulders, and they stood like a family, saying goodbye to the person they loved. Dr. Gentzelman looked at them and Linda nodded, tears in her eyes.
The doctor removed the tube from Brad’s mouth and unplugged the machines. A deafening silence fell over the room. Linda cried without a sound. Cathy watched Brad, savoring every moment, searing his face in her psyche forever.
After a while—minutes or hours, she wasn’t sure—Dr. Gentzelman felt his pulse and listened to his heart. “Time of death, 4:28 PM. I’m very sorry.”
Even though a part of Cathy went forever with Brad, strength and confidence straightened her shoulders and filled her chest.
That part was Brad.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Viking Northumbria, February 14, 878 AD
“Here it is.” Andor pulled on the reins to stop his horse.
Fridstein reined in next to him. “Looks like a good, rich farm. You have not seen them since two winters?”
The air was wet and crisp, and Andor’s body was pleasantly tired after half a day’s ride.
His fists clenched tighter. “Yes.”
Below them lay a sloping valley, flanked by a thick forest on one side and dark, rolling hills on the other. On the hilltop stood a large farm with five buildings, including a house, a barn, two storage buildings, and a workshop for smithing and carpentry. Wind whispered through the bare branches of the trees, but otherwise the farm was quiet.
