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“You’re quite right, darling. She was a wonderful mother, and she loved you very much.”

Hazel’s eyes met his. “She loved you, too. That’s why she threw herself between you and the bullet. Because she wanted you to live. To be happy. It was a wonderful gift, brother. A gift that you’re wasting by spending another moment torturing yourself when you have a wife and a baby on the way.”

Nathaniel swallowed hard. Her words were so similar to Calliope’s, which he had dismissed in anger and fear. But now that he had some distance from the terrifying events of the night at the warehouse, he could see that Calliope and Hazel were right. A gift…his mother had given him the gift of life, and he was wasting it.

Hazel gently rested her hand on Nathaniel’s arm, her fingers soft and warm. She looked deep into his eyes, her gaze unwavering. “Thank you, Nathaniel, for all you’ve done for us, for all the nights you’ve stayed awake, worrying and planning, trying to keep harm at bay… For every time you went out boxing and did other things I’m sure you’re not telling us.”

She paused, and her words sank into him as if he were a sea sponge absorbing water. He never expected his sisters to notice anything he did for them or feel any gratitude at all. He did it because he couldn’t do it any other way.

And yet, hearing Hazel acknowledge what he had done warmed him like a bed warmer on a winter night. It also meant one more thing that worried him.

His sister had grown up. And, perhaps, like the Dowager Duchess of Grandhampton insisted, it had been the right time to have her come out.

His all-too-grown-up sister smiled and continued. “But, you see, life is unpredictable and fleeting. Safety is like smoke and mirrors. It means nothing. I learned that when I saw our mama die. Then when we lost Papa, and with him, all the comfort and money and privileges… And then only recently, when we returned from the soirée to find our home invaded, one of our sisters being kidnapped, and the other one injured…”

Nathaniel couldn’t fathom it. His dear Hazel, whom he’d considered something akin to a porcelain doll, was talking to him about death and the unpredictability of life…

He slumped forward, elbows on his thighs, but kept his gaze on his remarkable sister.

Hazel’s eyes sparkled with tears as she looked over at him with a smile. “We chase this daylight, this safety, believing it’s the sure way to keep darkness at bay. Just a few steps ahead, yet it always eludes us. Does it not? It’s a thing that doesn’t truly exist, not in the absolute sense you wish for.”

Drawing a deep breath, she added, “We are all given a limited amount of time on this earth. Instead of living in constant fear, we should embrace every moment. Love deeply, help others, and follow our passions. After all, the quality of our days matters more than their number.”

Nathaniel blinked, absorbing the wisdom she’d just imparted. It felt like a weight was slowly being lifted off his shoulders, replaced by a new understanding of what truly mattered.

“Good Lord, Hazel,” he muttered. “You’re just seventeen. How is it that you are so wise and…somber?”

Hazel chuckled softly and reached over to squeeze one of his hands, then let it go. “See? You really needn’t worry about me marrying, brother. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to marry me.”

Oh, Nathaniel highly doubted that. Any man would be lucky to breathe the same air as his sister.

“What do you truly want, brother?” Hazel asked.

Nathaniel leaned back on his elbows. He wanted the pain in his body to stop. And once it did, for the ache in his soul to cease torturing him. For the constant barrage of questions at the back of his psyche to end.

“Peace…” he breathed out.

Peace of mind would be all he needed for a long while. Perhaps it was all he had ever needed. Perhaps the ton had considered him a confident rake, but no one knew the constant agitation and worry that lay deep below the exterior.

“When did you last feel like you had complete peace?” asked Hazel.

He thought about it and knew exactly when. The night full of stars. The roof terrace. The irises illuminated by lanterns.

The most beautiful woman in the world giving herself to him.

His wife.

Perhaps that was the night they conceived their baby.

“With Calliope,” he rasped.

A cool and calming sense of peace had enveloped him like a beautiful blanket. He had felt peace with Calliope just as he had felt peace with his mama when they’d retreated there to hide from his father.

Just like his mama, he had tried to do the impossible, to ensure that those he loved never came to any harm.

But it was impossible.

It was simply not in his power to ensure anyone’s safety.