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His answer was immediate. “No, I wouldn’t.”
She was surprised at the small balloon that burst in her stomach at his words. “Why not?”
“It’s too big a gamble.” Blair turned to her, his expression solemn. “I would gladly give up my immortality if I could to ensure you live a long and healthy life, Iris. I would do it in a heartbeat.” The briefest flicker of a smile crossed his face. “I know how much pain you’ve already endured in your life, with all of the surgeries you’ve had. I can imagine immortality doesn’t sound so bad to you.”
Iris made a movement halfway between a nod and a shrug. She didn’t think she wanted to live an extraordinarily long time. It seemed awfully lonely. But the idea of being guaranteed a long life free from illness was one that appealed to her. And an immortal life spent alongside Blair and Gabriel…well, that didn’t sound so bad, either.
“But this kind of existence just isn’t natural,” Blair continued. “I imagine Gabriel would agree.”
The shadows began to lift as a faint bluish light glowed on the horizon, in the place where the hazy sky kissed the distant depths of the ocean.
“Are you only immune to old age and illness?” Iris asked suddenly. “I mean, could you be…” She couldn’t bear to say the word, but Blair inferred her meaning.
“You mean, if someone ran up behind me and stabbed me in the heart, would I die? Yes.”
Iris shivered, not entirely from the cold. Blair moved behind her and slowly, hesitantly, as though giving her time to reject his touch, wrapped his arms around her. She draped her chilly hands over his and leaned back against his chest.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant,” Blair whispered in her ear, his breath as sweet as wild grapes. “I’ve just been…”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“The heartbeat thing…it's a lot. I’m learning how to handle it.”
Shame licked up Iris’s spine. “I’m so sorry. I have trouble controlling my heart rate around you, but I’ll try harder.”
“You have to try harder?” She felt the tickle of his wavy hair on her neck as he shook his head, his voice taking on a harder edge. “Please don’t blame yourself for my monstrous symptoms.”
“But it’s humiliating.”
Blair held her tighter. He seemed to be considering whether or not to say something. If Iris had learned anything about Blair, it was that it was best not to rush him.
But another question had lodged itself in her mind. “Do you think your mom is aware of other people’s heartbeats like that? Have you ever experienced it before now?”
“I think it’s likely she’s experienced it. I never had until I met you. But my mother and I don’t really discuss our symptoms with each other.” He hesitated. “I wish we could.”
“Why can’t you?”
“It’s…complicated.”
“Because you feel like she held you prisoner?”
“Something like that. I…” His sigh was heavy against her hair. “I wish Lucy had lived. It would have been nice to have someone in my life who really understands what it’s like. Not just this condition, but the way that Lucy had it, the way that I do, where it can’t be controlled. Or, if it can, it’s very, very difficult.”
“Maybe you can talk to her in one of your dreams.” Iris angled her face up to his. “Sorry, is that stupid?”
He was quiet for a moment. “I just don’t know if that’s really Lucy.”
As the patch of deep blue sky hovering low over the ocean lightened, a reddish-orange glow began to rise up from the waves like a steady flame. Iris ran her thumb over the smooth surface of Blair’s ring and cocooned herself into him, letting the feelings of safety and contentment engulf her.
“Besides…” Blair’s voice was barely a whisper tickling her ear. “Don’t you think I like the effect I have on your heartbeat?”
“Do you?” Her voice was full of hopeful skepticism.
“How could I not? It means you care about me, right?”
Iris smiled softly as the sun appeared over the sea, nearly blinding them with its splendor. “Yes,” she assured him. “So much.”
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