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“I want to sleep at the studio.”
“Kell, you don’t have to leave.”
“I know. I’d rather go.” She looks as though she might argue, but whatever she sees in me changes her mind.
“Okay.”
I go upstairs long enough to put a few shirts, jeans, underwear, and socks into the duffel Shannon brought my first morning. I leave most of my clothes where they are. I’m not thinking far enough ahead to know whether that means anything.
When I come back downstairs, Laura is standing near the front door with her keys.
“I’ll drive you.”
“I can walk.”
“No.”
“It’s not far.”
“I know exactly how far it is. I’m driving you.”
Normally I would argue just because she expects me to. Tonight I don’t have enough left for it.
Before I can open the door, she disappears down the hall and returns carrying a pillow, a folded blanket, and a sheet. I look at the pile in her arms. “What?”
“That couch looked older than the hills.” She pushes everything at me. “Put the sheet down before you lie on it.”
I take the bundle from her. She has just told me she may not feel affection for me, and now she’s making sure I don’t sleep directly on Carl’s filthy couch.
I don’t know what to do with that.
We barely speak on the drive. Laura keeps both hands on the wheel while I hold the pillow and folded bedding in my lap. Neither of us turns on music. When she stops in front of the studio, I reach for the door handle.
“Kell.”
I wait. She looks at me as if there is more she wants to say. For a few seconds I think she might actually say it. She doesn’t.
“Good night.”
“Good night, Laura.”
I get out and carry the bedding inside. The studio feels different after dark. My canvases are only shapes against the walls until I turn on the lights. Brushes wait in their jars, and the blue painting is still where I left it, probably still wet, as if nothing important has happened since this afternoon.
The couch in the back room is exactly as bad as I remember. I spread Laura’s sheet over it, put the pillow at one end, and unfold the blanket before sitting down.
My phone is beside me. Something Roy said about Frank comes back to me, and my hand moves toward it before I stop.
Laura is still the person I want to tell. I leave the phone where it is and lie down. The blanket smells like home.
Chapter Twenty-One
Laura
The morning after Kell moved into the studio, I texted the group that we’d hit a wall and he needed some space. That was all I was willing to say.
Shannon called immediately. Rachel asked if I wanted company. Janet offered to bring food. Blair texted, Do you want advice or do you want us to leave it alone?
I told her to leave it alone.