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I look at her.

Nobody’s ever asked me that.

They ask whether I’m better. Whether I can work. Whether the headaches have stopped.

Not whether I’m scared.

“Yeah,” I admit.

She nods.

I look away.

“Sometimes I wake up and it takes a minute to figure out where I am. Like tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Now I know.”

I let out a humorless laugh.

“You’re taking this pretty well.”

“What would you prefer? Screaming? Fainting? I can do either, but I’m going to need breakfast first.”

“Jesus, Pumpkin.”

“You’re welcome.”

I shake my head.

Then the silence settles again.

“I hate that I survived,” I say.

The words come out before I can stop them.

Autumn’s fingers tighten around mine.

I stare at the floor.

“Not every day. But sometimes. Especially when I wake up like that.” My throat burns. “He was seventeen. Had his whole life ahead of him. And I’m the one who gets to grow old.”

She moves closer.

“You didn’t kill Eli, Gray.”

I look away.

“I put him on that bike.”

“You loved him.”

“I broke my promise.”

“You made a mistake. Tyler caused the accident.”