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Tears choked Joy as she tried to speak. “It’s probably infected, so I started the antibiotics I keep with me for such an occasion. It will be better by morning.”
Holding her gaze, Kian finally nodded once. “Okay, but I’m checking it again in the morning, too. If it’s worse, I’ll drag you to a doctor before we go back to the mall.” Smiling, he repeated the same routine with her other leg, resting it on the pillow. “At least the right one looks good.” Then he did the very last thing she expected. He massaged her left arch. “Does that hurt? I don’t want to make it worse, but I thought it might feel good.”
“It does feel good,” she whispered. “My arches are high, so even with the braces, they ache by the end of the day.”
Silently, he massaged both arches, then rubbed his hands up and down her calf. “From what I read, the muscle loss in your lower legs is due to the nerves not working, right?”
“That’s true.” Joy cleared her throat. “The absence of nerve signals and chemical messages leads to muscle wasting or atrophy.”
“But these braces must make that worse?”
“There’s always some atrophy from wearing the AFOs, but without them I can’t walk, so I accept it as part of the solution,” Joy explained.
“Makes sense,” he whispered, still massaging her legs, pausing to cradle her foot in his hands. “I see what you mean about them always being cold. If I ever have an idea that makes you uncomfortable or puts your feet at risk, please tell me no. I will understand.”
When Joy nodded, Kian smiled, turning her insides to jelly. “Some days are worse than others when it comes to living in Wisconsin, but I try not to let them keep me from doing what I love.”
“Adjust and overcome, right? That was my mom’s favorite saying.”
“Not always easy, but it’s always worth it,” Joy repeated with a wink. “I miss her so much that some days I don’t think I can stand it. Then something pops up to remind me of her, and I laugh. That always helps me ease my grief so I can move on with the day.”
“It hasn’t been easy, and the holidays haven’t helped,” he said. “But it is getting better. I can make it through the day, seeing her name on every piece of paperwork, without getting overwhelmed within an hour.”
Joy held out her fist, and he bumped it. “I guess, in that way, we can relate. When I started talking to the statue every morning, I worried I was losing it, but it actually helps me frame the day by telling her how things are going or what special event we’re hosting. I’m not the only one who does it, either. I’ve seen several longtime employees talking to her there.”
“As her son, that touches me in places I can’t describe. It’s also a reminder of the legacy we carry and of how important it is to carry out her will according to her wishes.” He stopped and cleared his throat. As though he had said more than he intended, he quickly jumped back into the conversation, giving Joy whiplash. “What’s the best way to keep your feet warm while you sleep? The socks?”
“The right sock can go back on, but let’s leave the left one off so the blister can get some air. The blanket will keep them warm enough.”
After he tugged her right sock back on, he straightened the sheet and covered them with the blanket. He then set his glasses on the bedside table.
“Now, I think it’s time we get some sleep. Wait, if you took the antibiotic, do you need some food? I don’t want you to get sick from taking it on an empty stomach.”
“My stomach is still full from dinner,” she said, patting it as he settled into the pillows after tugging them closer to hers. Then he pulled her over onto his chest and brought the blankets up around them. “Time out,” she said, making the motion with her hand. “Is that it? We’re just going back to sleep?”
“Do you need anything else?”
“No,” Joy whispered, her heart breaking at his sudden hands-off approach.
Kian tipped her chin up to meet his gaze, the only light coming from the bathroom nightlight. “Do I want to lay you out on this bed and ravish you? Yes. Will I? No. The main reason is that I don’t have any protection with me.”
“I thought all guys kept that in their wallets,” she whispered, biting back a small smile. “Not that it’s necessary. I’m a modern woman and protect myself.”
“That’s good to know, but maybe my not assuming I would need it should tell you something.”
“It tells me you don’t want me,” Joy deduced.
“No, it tells you that I respect you and had no expectations when we left Snowcap Ridge.”
Hmm, guess that was a fair way to put it. Why was she so upset that he didn’t want to make love to her? He didn’t even try to take off her clothes. “This is not what I expected from Kian Van Adler.”
“Contrary to whatever or whoever you got your beliefs about me and my promiscuity from, they’re clearly wrong. Also, I’m not falling for this one-bed trope thing. No way, no how.”
“What?” she asked, suddenly bursting into giggles. “What does that even mean?”
“It means I googled it, and no way, no how. When we make love, note I said when, not if, it will be when we aren’t forced into a hotel room with one bed because of a blizzard. It will be when we’re both emotionally prepared to take that step and understand our relationship is ready for it. If a blizzard is involved, it's because I’ve whisked you away to a private chateau for the weekend. A fire will crackle in the hearth, a bed of blankets will wait on the floor, and there will be more pillows than should be legal in all fifty states. With the flickering light of the flames illuminating your beautiful face, I’ll take my time removing every stitch of your clothes, piece by piece, revealing your soft, tender skin.”
Snuggling in closer, Joy couldn’t help but smile. “Sounds romantic. I don’t know whether my heart should melt or I should get horny.”