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Fool for Love

Page 114

by Eloisa James

“Where is the remedy that I gave you?” Darby said. His voice was even, seemingly untouched by the news she had offered. The brief flash of rage he displayed was gone as if it had never been.

Fool for Love

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“On the mantel in my bedchamber.”

He met her eyes and she was surprised at the deep sympathy she saw there. “I’m sorry, Henrietta. Given your love of children, this must be a hellish thought for you.”

“I have no choice,” she said fiercely, trying to make it sound real to her own ears. “I have made a commitment to Josie and Anabel. And isn’t it a hellish thought for you as well?”

He blinked. “I dislike the idea of your distress, naturally.”

“It’s your child!” she said shrilly.

“I am not—” he stopped. “Henrietta, I have never pretended to be a family man. But I am well aware how much you wish to have a child. Why don’t we visit a doctor before we make any decisions? Perhaps someone from the Royal College of Physicians. London has the best medical doctors in the world, or so they say.”

“I have seen doctors,” she spat. “They pried at my hip, and shook their heads. They heard the story of my mother’s death, and they looked at me—with death in their eyes.” Her voice was alarmingly shaky, so she stopped speaking. He pushed away the plate before him. “Then I suggest we become foxed and skip the ball.” The obvious subtext was that little blue bottle.

“No!” Hysteria rose in her chest. “I cannot drink an herb that would take away a child’s life. I cannot do it. I would rather die myself. I have wanted this baby my entire life!”

“I will not—” He stopped and started again. “Perhaps we should discuss this in the morning.”

“There are things we must discuss now.”

He looked at her calmly. To Henrietta, losing her baby and never sleeping with Darby were mixed up together. The pain felt as if a tiger was tearing at her heart. But her husband looked unperturbed. Truly, men were a different species than women. “The sheath apparently provides inadequate protection,” she stated.

“Your conclusion seems warranted by the circumstances.”

324 Eloisa

James

“What are we going to do?” The question was wrung from her heart.

He was silent.

“Simon, what are we going to do?”

“I’m thinking.” His tone was brusque.

A gentleman with as high a standard for mannerly behavior as Darby would dislike informing his wife that she was relegated to nursemaid status. “I don’t think we have many choices to consider,” she said. Her voice was high and rang as sharply as broken glass. “Obviously, we must immediately cease all activities that lead to procreation.”

He swallowed a mouthful of wine. Still there was no hint on his face of emotion.

“You must avail yourself of a mistress,” she said savagely.

“I could suggest other—”

But she cut him off. “I forced you into this marriage.”

“I accepted the marriage with a clear understanding of its limitations,” Darby said.

“You don’t understand,” she snapped. “I wrote that letter—”

She stopped. Telling the truth was too awful. Even if he didn’t love her, and merely honored her affection for him. What good would the truth do? If he wanted a mistress, he’d take one.

“I know that,” he said patiently. “Believe me, Henrietta, I was well aware of the risks of marrying you when I did it.”