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“Okay.” I say and sink my teeth into my lip as he tugs his shirt off and takes his jeans off, leaving him in his boxers. He doesn’t turn back toward me before climbing into his bed. He settles under his blanket. And the silence makes my ears ring.

“You good?” he asks into the darkness.

I’m cold now where he was pressed against me before. But I don’t think that’s what he’s asking. “Yes,” I say.

Then the silence falls again. There’s a lump in my throat, and I feel like I messed up somehow. What if I screwed this whole thing up and he doesn’t want to teach me any more?

I can feel tears prick at my eyes, and I close my eyes and shift to get my legs under my comforter. I roll to my side and catch his scent on my pillow. I turn my face into it and don’t attempt to analyze the feelings bubbling up inside of me.

Across the room, he whispers, “Night, Quinn.”

NINETEEN

DANIEL

I’m a coward.

Sneaking out before Quinn woke up just so I didn’t have to talk about last night? Top-tier coward move.

I didn’t intend to fall asleep. When all of the tension drained out of him all at once and his breathing evened out, I knew he was out. And I didn’t want to move him. If he could drop off like that with someone touching him, he had to be exhausted.

So I let him sleep. Then my eyes grew heavy, and next thing I knew, it was dark, and he was half on top of me, and my body was already doing something embarrassing. I know he felt it. Even now, it makes me cringe.

I dressed in the bathroom with the lights out, grabbed my bag, and left the extra tea I bought on his desk as if that counted the same as a note saying sorry, I bailed.

The quad is barely lit when I drop down on a bench. I still have three hours before I have to be at the athletic building for the scrimmage. Which I should be thinking about.

Instead, I’m thinking about Quinn fisting my shirt in his hand, like I might dump him off of me and get up. It had made me feel ten feet tall. I almost puffed out my chest, just for him.

Now, I wonder if it was the opposite. If he was holding on so he wouldn’t push me away. If he hated the whole thing and froze the way he does when there’s too much input.

I drag my hand down my face. I could text him. I chew on the inside of my cheek and prop my elbows on my knees.

This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Falling for my ‘not gay’ roommate. Especially when I don’t want to date anyone, and he is definitely the type who’d need something serious. He’s not a one-night stand type of guy. We’ve had that conversation. Well, not exactly, but it was the conversation that told me everything I needed to know about him. I know what he is. I know what I’m not supposed to want.

I laugh once under my breath. It sounds bad.

I stare at the dark grass and let the stupid thing sit there with me.

I’m falling for Quinn Mackenzie. And still, I left because I’m a coward. We are going to need some new rules. First one: we need to limit the lessons down to once or twice a week. The daily thing will drive me insane. I’d walk around with a perpetual hard-on.

The birds start to chirp, waking up to greet the morning, and the sky starts to lighten. It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day.

I hate it a little.

I push off the bench before I can do something reckless, like pull out my phone and text him my feelings. I can’t believe I teased Eli for his crush on Max. Because if he felt even half of this, he was probably living in hell and trying to smile through it.

The coffee shop is opening when I arrive, and I order a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which now just reminds me of Quinn. I drink it anyway and head toward the rink. I can get ready and skate a little bit to warm up. Some of the other guys do it. It will appear normal.

I’m halfway to the athletic doors when somebody almost takes them off the hinges.

He’s big. Not hockey-big. But more of a wrestler big. Duffel on one shoulder, his jaw locked, looking as if he came here to fight something and didn’t get to. I step out of his way on instinct. He doesn’t even see me. Just cuts across the lot with heavy strides.

I glance after him, shrug, and go in.

The hallway smells like the cleaner they use overnight and the underlying familiar scent of the ice. Blue is by the rink doors, a roll of tape in his hands, looking like he wants to wrap it around someone’s throat. When he sees me, he jerks his chin up in an angry greeting.

“Who the fuck was that?” I ask, putting the pieces together and realizing that if they are both pissed then it might be at each other.