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My face heats, remembering the run-up to that interview. The way Mike’s touches turned sweet and sincere. What was I thinking, wanting to give that up?

“I’m not.” Not wanting it to get back to the school that I lied, I backtrack a little. “I mean, we had sort of a falling out. My fault.” Like always, I rub ‌my chest when I think of it.

“Is it possible to fix things?”

Eve asked me the same thing. Haven’t been able to let the question go since.

“Honestly, I said some ugly stuff.”

He puts his hand down on the table, giving me a painfully sympathetic look. “Dean, I find that hard to believe. You’re one of the nicest guys I know.”

I shake my head. “Not always.”

“Everyone’s stupid sometimes. That’s just being human.”

Because I have literally nobody else to tell, I explain ‌the fact that Mike and I have known each other since before I met Billie. How he’s always been in Ella’s life. The fight about how to handle my father and then the one in the hospital. Leaving out the bits about how Michael and I were during those years before things got deeper. For some reason, sharing that part of what we had with anyone feels… I just don’t want to.

“I’m seeing now that I overreacted. Protecting Ella has always been my compass. I worry; what if I can’t love Mike and keep Ella safe at the same time?”

Tim laughs. “You really need to meet my sister and her kid.”

“Sure. I owe her a thank-you.”

“I’m not talking about that, though I’m sure she’ll appreciate it. But when you meet Leif, you’ll see he has a jagged scar above his lip. It’s better than it used to be, and the doctor says it’ll fade as time goes on, but my sister will tell you herself, she was staring right at him when it happened.”

I sit forward, my glass of red wine forgotten by my elbow. “She was?”

He shakes his head. “Honestly, it was pretty ridiculous. She was nursing her newborn. Leif always had so much energy. He kept running circles around the playroom. Wouldn’t listen when she told him to stop. Before she could intercept him? Bam!” He smacks his hands together, making me jump. “Kid trips and hits the table where he plays with his trains, face-first.”

“Ouch.” Just hearing it makes my lip throb. “He’s okay now?”

“Of course. Oh, I mean, it was awful. Emergency room. Kid was so freaked out they had to strap him down to do the stitches. My sister was beside herself. But eventually, life moved on.”

“Wow. I’m glad it turned out okay.”

“It did. But you get what I’m saying, right?”

He’s right. I know he is. Forcing myself to live a life that revolves only around my daughter won’t necessarily keep her safe. I’ve been too busy punishing myself to see the truth.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.”

“Anyone in the world would tell you’re a good dad, Dean. It’s one of the things I like about you. It’s time to stop beating yourself up.”

Accidents happen, Daddy.

Moisture blurs my vision. Suddenly, this isn’t the person I want to be talking to.

I need to get home. To see Mike. Maybe while Mrs. Harris watches Ella, I can swing by his apartment.

“I should get back,” I say.

“Of course.” Tim slides my untouched glass of wine over his way. “Drinks are on me, especially since you didn’t touch yours.”

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t really⁠—”

He waves me off. “Don’t worry about it. Oh, and, Dean? I agree with your, uh…with Mike. Don’t give your father any money. Sometimes making people face the consequences of their actions is the only way.”

“You’re probably right.” I’ve started thinking the same thing. But how do I keep Ella and Mike safe? Maybe Brennan would help. Or Liam? It’s weird that he’s my boss now, but at least he probably wouldn’t demand a blow job.