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“Perhaps God saved her from a life of pain and misery. Did you ever think of that? By taking her home to be with her Savior, perhaps she and the child avoided all the judgment and cruelty that would have been heaped upon her here on earth? I cannot say for certain, of course. But sometimes we don’t consider the situation beyond our immediate vantage point.”

Just then the maid brought in the refreshment cart. Leah thought of her grandmother’s words as the tea was poured. Had God shown Susanna more mercy by taking her and her child out of the world? Leah had honestly never considered it that way. Susanna’s parents had abandoned her. She had no one else. Leah knew her parents would have come to Susanna’s aid, but then what? She would still have had to live with the damage done to her reputation. What reputable man would consider taking her as a wife once he knew of her mistakes? For the first time Leah realized that it was possible the very thing she held against God was the thing she should count as a blessing from Him.

But it wasn’t a blessing to her. She had lost a dear friend. Susanna was as important to her as her brothers. A sister in every sense, with the exception of having different parents.

Once the maid had taken her leave, Leah looked at her grandmother. “I never considered it as a blessing or kindness that Susanna and her child died. I have heard that comment at Bethany Home when babies have passed on. Seeing those women in such situations, it was always hard to imagine them having anything to offer a child. But I saw their weeping and knew they too had suffered loss. I saw them suffer when giving their children up for adoption too. I felt great compassion for their sorrow. It’s always touched me deeply, Grandmother.”

“And well it should. The situation isn’t black and white with no shades of gray. These women are in such positions for reasons we can’t begin to understand. Some felt they had no other choice, some were forced, and others tricked. There is an ugly part of the world that preys on the weak, my dear. We must take up the light of truth and shine it so as to offer hope. They do their best at Bethany Home to offer that hope. You’ve seen it for yourself.”

“Yes, and I would like to offer that same hope.”

“Even if you remain angry at God? Don’t you think that takes something away from the hope you could offer?”

Leah hated knowing her grandmother was right. How could she offer hope in God’s mercy and love if she didn’t embrace them herself? But I do embrace them . . . for the most part. In my own way. But even as she thought these things, she knew it wasn’t enough.

“I don’t know how to let go of my anger.” She shrugged. “I suppose it should be easy to say I’m all right and believe that God was just and fair, but I don’t feel that way. Does that mean I’m bound for hell?”

She hadn’t realized that question was at the core of her concerns, but now that it had been spoken, Leah could hardly wait for her grandmother’s answer.

“Oh, sweet child, it doesn’t mean that at all.” Grandmother put her tea aside. “Leah, God understands that you’re hurt, and He realizes that you don’t understand. But He asks you to trust Him. Remember when Job was going through all his testing? He says at one point, ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.’ There comes a point when we can’t begin to comprehend why a thing has happened, yet God calls us to trust Him. To lean not unto our own understanding, as Proverbs says, but trust in the Lord with all our heart.

“I cannot tell you why these bad things happen, but I can assure you it’s far easier to bear sorrow and trouble with God at our side and our trust placed fully in Him. He isn’t going to suddenly take away your salvation because you sinned. We have all sinned, which is why having a Savior was necessary to begin with. You confessed Jesus as your Lord, and you will not be taken from Him.”

The sound of men’s voices could be heard through the open doorway and down the hall. Leah straightened and wondered if her grandfather had returned. Within moments he entered the room, and behind him was a tall, blond-headed man who had the bluest eyes and possibly the handsomest face Leah had ever gazed upon.

She swallowed the lump in her throat with the help of her tea and tried not to show any effect from the encounter. She would appreciate that he was a nice-looking man, but nothing more.

“Why, Leah, I had no idea you’d be here. I want you to meet someone,” her grandfather announced.

She looked up and smiled. “Hello, Grandfather.”

“This is Dr. Erik Sjolander,” he replied, putting his arm around the younger man to draw him forward.

“Erik, this is my oldest granddaughter, Leah Garrison.”

She forced herself to meet his gaze, doing her best to ignore the way her heart beat a little faster. “How nice to meet you, Dr. Sjolander.”

He smiled as if he knew the effect he had on her. Leah wanted to bolt from the room but knew that would only make matters worse.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Miss Garrison.”

She quickly grabbed the plate with her scone and picked up her fork. Perhaps if she focused on eating, she would be better able to put aside this strange reaction. She swore long ago never to be taken in by any man and certainly not by a chance encounter with a man she’d just met.

For a moment, she focused on the flavor of the scone. It really was quite delicious, though she could hardly tell her grandmother now since she was talking with the young doctor.

Just breathe and eat and pay him no mind. Leah found her own admonition pointless. Her mind wasn’t listening. Instead, she found herself stealing another glance at the man who unfortunately seemed to realize all too well that she was rather taken with him.

Why was I not born a better actress?

She took another bite. She needed some excuse to leave. She could just tell her grandparents that she had another appointment, but what if they asked about it? Leah would have no excuse to offer. Then there was the matter of calling for the car. She’d had the driver return to the house, promising to call when she was ready to be picked up. It was far too cold to walk home, so she could hardly just bid them farewell and leave.

“Isn’t that so, Leah?”

She startled at the sound of her name. “What?” She looked to her grandmother. “I’m afraid I was caught up in the delightful flavors of the scone.”

“I told you they were quite amazing. Erik, you must have one.” Grandmother motioned to the refreshment cart.

“She’s right,” Grandfather said, putting a scone on a plate and handing it to Erik. “It can’t be beaten, as far as I’m concerned, especially when you add the clotted cream.”