Page 49

I draw my scythe. No Light comes to it. I can’t access that magic, not when reason and goodness are so far from me. But it’s still steel, isn’t it? Still sharp.

I’m tired of waiting. “Lonan!” I scream, and swipe my scythe, knocking over a tall candelabra. Candles roll on the floor, one of the flames catching the edge of the altar’s tablecloth. “I’ll destroy this entire school looking for you! You know I will!” I cry.

I hear a whisper of feet behind me and spin. There he stands at the head of the aisle. His sword is illuminated but lowered. He looks up at me with a hard, calm expression, the light of the flames reflected in the panes of his glasses.

Beside the altar in my white dress, torn and bloodstained, scythe gripped in my hand, I look down the steps at him. I must look a monster. Good. I am one.

“Vesper,” he says gently, “I will not hide from you like a coward.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Now be a good boy and don’t run.”

I take a step toward him, and he says, “Fight this. Remember reason. Remember your heart.”

I laugh mirthlessly. “My heart is broken. You know that.”

He holds up a placating hand. “The Dark and the Light. Love and logic. They can both help you. Reach for them. Don’t give up, Vesper. Don’t let Galvin win. Remember magic. Reach.”

An ache twinges in my chest, but I mentally brush it away. “I know real power now, Lonan. We were wrong. Galvin was right. This . . .” I have no words. Because I’ve felt powerless for so long. I couldn’t save my mother. I couldn’t save my father. But now I can save my school and my kingdom. I never want to go back to that weakness. This is my destiny.

I descend the steps, and as I do, Lonan plants the tip of his sword against the stone floor. And then he kneels. He tilts his chin high, and his hand rests on the hilt of his sword. Dauntless. Stalwart. A very, very foolish knight.

I approach him, standing over him, feeling imperious as a queen. He doesn’t flinch. He only meets my gaze.

“I’ve run from Gault. I’ve hidden from my family. I will never run from you. I will never hide from you,” he says. “If this is how I fall, then I accept it. All my faith is in you, Vesper, and if you cannot withstand this . . . well, it’s time for me to give up the fight. But I do have faith in you. Whatever doubts you have in me, I believe that you can overcome this.”

With his head tilted back, the long column of his neck is exposed. My eyes trace the length of it, down to the hollow where his throat meets his collarbone, where the skin is more tender. I can smell his blood pumping, hear his heart in my ears, sense where the largest vein is, imagine my teeth puncturing there and my mouth filling with the taste of him.

Without thinking, I reach down, first cradling his chin in my hand and then tracing it lower, till my hand gently clasps his neck. My body wants so many things from him. The demand, the yearning . . . it’s too much.

Lonan swallows and then smiles sadly. “I can think of worse ways,” he croaks, “to lose this fight.”

“I’d be doing Gault a favor,” I whisper. “I’d be a hero.”

He nods. “Some would call you that.”

“And you’d be mine.”

Darkness flares in his eyes. Shadows curl around his fingertips where he clasps his sword. “I would be. But it wouldn’t be by choice. You’d make me slave to you as much as you are enslaved to Galvin.”

My fractured heart twinges, burns. Tears of frustration rim my eyes. I want him. I need him—his blood, his lips, his body, his heart.

But, Saints . . . not like this.

With every ounce of strength and stubbornness, I force my hand to lower. Lonan smiles. “That’s my girl.”

A tear falls down my cheek. “You need to get away from me,” I beg. “Better yet, kill me.” Before I kill someone. Before I turn someone.

“Siphons aren’t easy to kill. Not with a normal blade. We saw that with Poppy earlier.” He’s right. Hugo stabbed her in the chest, and she survived.

“How? Please . . .” Hopelessness weighs on my shoulders. If Galvin has truly turned me, I’d rather be killed than become a monster.

“We’ll find a way. We’ll kill Galvin, and you will recover. Poppy will recover.”

I shake my head. The hunger is still there. “You can’t be around me, Lonan.”

“Maybe I don’t need to be.” He stands, and it’s a great relief. Having him kneeling before me, putting himself under my power and at the mercy of my self-control, was too much. “There is one person in this school who knows more about siphons than either of us.”

“We haven’t been able to find my godfather.”