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He nodded. “Absolutely.” His focus went back to the blurry screen and one thick finger pointed. “And there he is, your little boy. Congratulations.”
“A little boy.” The words were filled with awe and wonder, and when Shannon looked up at me, finally, there were tears in her eyes. She blinked them away quickly, or she tried and instead settled for removing her gaze from my face. “My little boy.”
Her tears had me wondering if her words of love were nothing more than hormones, than words spoken as the urge for a traditional family unit grew stronger within her. I didn’t know if I could trust her words, but my heart told me I could trust Shannon. That I should trust her, but I’d done that once before, put my trust in a woman, and it had been so easy for her to drop me, to replace me. To start over with someone else.
With my brother, of all people.
But that was a different woman, a different time and place. I tried to keep my focus on the here and now, but when I cleared my head, the exam room was empty. Shannon was gone. Again.
Shannon
“Did you mean it?” I stopped walking away at the sound of Miles’ voice but I didn’t turn to face him. I couldn’t. What I thought would be a happy moment between parents, had turned out to be distant and awkward and tense. “What you said in the exam room, did you mean it?”
I nodded at first, trying to get my emotions under control in the face of his apparent anger. “Yes, I meant it, Miles. That doesn’t mean I expect you to return my feelings. I know that we’re friends and co-parents and I’m all right with that.” I wasn’t, but I had to be because that’s just the way things were between us.
He sighed, his brows pulled together in a scowl. “Then why did you say it?”
I shrugged at his ridiculous question. “Because you asked how I felt and I wanted you to know that you were loved. If it’s a burden to know that, then I’m sorry.” That was probably the most heartbreaking of all, that knowing my feelings were a burden, nothing more than an unwanted piece of knowledge for him. “See you around, Miles.” I couldn’t stand there another moment and stare at his scowling face, so I headed to my car. My escape. I was just a few feet away from my car when his hand wrapped around my arm. I turned with a glare of my own. “What?”
He let me go, looking stunned at the fire contained in that one word. “I don’t know.”
He really was one of the good ones and I couldn’t help but love him more because of that. “Miles, it’s okay.” I turned to completely face him and cupped his jaw, a sad smile on my face. “You don’t have to say it back. I don’t want you to because I know you don’t feel that way about me. I just wanted you to know, that’s all.” I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger for just a moment longer than necessary and then I did get in my car and drive away.
It was a small victory, but I made it all the way back to Pilgrim and my new home, the yellow Victorian which I closed on officially, yesterday, before the tears started to fall.
Mara waited, cross-legged, on the wrap around porch, hunched over her laptop. “How’d it go?”
“Fine,” I whispered, desperate to be alone until my tears dried.
Mara looked up, concern crinkling that skin between her eyebrows. She jumped to her feet and grabbed me by the shoulders. “What’s wrong? Is the baby all right?”
Her question reminded me of the bright spot of the past hour and I smiled. “The baby, a boy, is fantastic. I heard his heartbeat, Mara. It was so strong and fast. It was just…perfect.” And that’s what I would focus on, my baby boy, not the heartache.
Mara’s face bloomed into a smile. “A boy? That’s great news, Shannon!” Her arms went around me and squeezed me tight, which brought on more tears. “I’m happy for you.” She pulled back with a frown. “This is good news, right?”
“It is.” It was the best news. I could see me and my little boy making this house our forever home.
“So what’s with the tears?”
I smiled at her blunt words mixed with genuine concern. “Nothing, just stupid pregnancy hormones.” I didn’t want to talk about Miles or dwell on what happened.
Mara nodded and looked around the porch, lined with boxes I hadn’t unpacked yet. “You bought a house.”
“I bought a house.” It was the first house I’d ever bought and even Daddy thought it was a good idea, though he hated that it was so far from home. “What do you think?”
