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Resigned to sleep, I open my backpack to look for my toothbrush. But the first thing I see when I open it is parcel of dark green canvas cloth. The same fabric of my old hammock.
I left it by the lake and was never able to go back for it.
My fingers are trembling as I lift it out of my rucksack and put it on the bed. I stare at it for a minute. Not sure whether or not I can open it. But my curiosity conquers my fear and I slowly unfold it.
My heart stops beating.
My breath catches in my lungs.
Nestled in the fabric is a stack of books.
Apollo’s books.
Every single one that she brought to me to read at the lake. There’s an envelope on top. Stuck to it is a piece of white paper folded in half.
My fingers are shaking so badly that the first two times I try to open it, I drop it.
But, the third time, I manage to unfold it and read.
“Dear Graham,
I found these things by the lake the night Jeremiah found your book. I never got to tell you that I met your little friend. She came looking for you. I sent her away with a letter to mail. It was to the Fergusons. Because of her, they were able to help me with my plan to get us out of here. I wanted to wait to give these to you when I was sure you’d actually be able to keep them safe. It was too risky while we were still in Cain’s Weeping. I wrote this letter in case we somehow got separated or I didn’t make it. I’m so glad you have another friend in this world. I hope you can find her once we’re settled. I want to make sure you live the very best life that you can. Remember to be kind, work hard, and be grateful. Especially when things feel bleak, count your blessings. You are too good and too beautiful to be anything other than great. I’m proud of you.
I love you. I always will, and I wish you happiness.”
Love,
Your Mama.
Helena Elaine Davis”
Davis was her name before she married him.
I reach for the pen and pad of paper that was sitting on the bedside table in my hotel room and wrote out my name, Graham S. Davis. I would never tell anyone that the S stood for Star, because they’d probably think it was dumb. But Apollo gave me that name and I want to use it.
I write the name a few times.
I have a name that means something. A name I’ve chosen.
I say it over and over again. And it makes me feel like I have some control over my life.
Maybe I can make it into something more … like my mother said.
I put her letter down and pick up the envelope and realize it’s two stuck together.
The one on top is addressed to me. The one below it is addressed to Row Locklear.
Apollo.
This time, when I open it my hands don’t tremble.
I lie back down on my bed to read.
Dear Grahamstar,
I hope you find these things after I’m gone. I was always gonna leave you my books, but I decided to leave you the letter I wrote to Daddy, too. I thought maybe, until we see each other again, you could read it, so you’d remember what a wonderful time we had by the lake.
You are my most special and best friend, Graham. I hope you’ll write to me from wherever you are. And when we are old enough, we’ll travel to a place that we can call our own. We’ll lie in our hammock and read, watch the stars, and eat pineapple upside down cake.
