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Yesterday, if she’d said yes when I asked her to leave him, I would have walked out of there with her and not given a damn about what came next.
And now I understand my grandfather’s advice. I would have thrown away everything for her. And if he’d turned his back on me for it, I would have lived with it. For her, I would have done anything.
So maybe it is for the best. I’m cleaning my slate and focusing on the things I can control.
Breaking up with Joni has been on my to-do list for months. After this fucking disaster of a weekend, I’ve decided it’s time.
She may be right on paper, but I’d rather have nothing than settle.
So, as we’re eating breakfast on the balcony of our hotel room, I tell her it’s over. She eyes me stonily while she finishes chewing her bagel and wipes her mouth.
“This is because of her.” She says icily.
“It’s been a long time coming.” I feel like shit because I know that’s what it looks like. But I need to do this before I leave.
She raises a skeptical eyebrow and purses her lips. “So, it’s just a coincidence that the day after you saw your little secret girlfriend from high school, you’re breaking up with me?”
“She wasn’t my secret girlfriend. And no. It’s not a coincidence.” I’m honest because whatever else I may be, a hypocrite isn’t one of them.
“She’s not good enough for you,” she says through taut lips.
“You don’t know anything about her or what’s good for me, Joni.” I say in a warning voice. I’m mad at Kal, but fuck if anyone can talk about her like that.
“Isn’t she getting married?” She looks at me like I’m the most pathetic asshole she’s ever seen.
She’s not wrong.
“So?” I shrug, the weight of resentment and disappointment has left me numb.
“So, are you running off together? She’s leaving her meal ticket? I guess it makes sense, you’ve definitely got deeper pockets.” Her sarcasm is ugly and dry and I’m an idiot for feeling like Kal is still mine to defend. But I do. I always will.
“You’re the one who cares about how deep my pockets are. And no, she’s not leaving him. I just don’t want this anymore.” I point between us. She curls her lip in disgust.
“So, after you spent the weekend humiliating me by mooning after her and practically making out with her on the dancefloor, you’re breaking up with me?” She laughs humorlessly.
“I’m sorry.” I say with as much contrition as I can muster.
“No, I’m sorry. That I didn’t dump you first.” She throws her napkin down.
I blow out a breath, “Me, too.”
We stare at each other. She’s beautiful. It would have been a lot more convenient if I’d fallen in love with her.
“I won’t take you back,” she says after eyeing me. Her is voice even. She’s not threatening me. This is the truth.
I nod in agreement. “You shouldn’t. You deserve a man who can love you. That’s not me.”
She sits down across from me, crosses her legs and assesses me coolly. “I’m not looking for love. I don’t believe in it the way you do.”
“The way I do?” I lean back and look at her like she’s grown horns.
“Yes. I’ve been very surprised at how sensitive you are, Remington.”
“I am not sensitive,” I growl. That gets under my skin. Because after this weekend, I feel raw.
“It’s not an insult, it’s just an observation,” she says evenly.
“I’m not insulted. It’s just not true. And if you don’t want love, why do you want to get married so badly?”
