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“Oh my God, is this the guy who pierced your hymen?” Jack asks excitedly.
“Jack, can’t you just say I lost my virginity?” I groan.
“Why? You knew what I meant, so clearly, it’s fine,” she pouts.
“Touché, and yes, that’s him. I don’t know what to expect, because the last time I saw him, it wasn’t exactly hearts and roses.” To say the least.
“So, what was high school Regan like? Were you the girl everyone wanted to be, and every boy wanted to fuck but who no one could touch?”
I laugh at the irony of how completely opposite my experience was.
“My looks, my money and my family connections didn’t compensate for what is, according to my mother, my greatest flaw - I’m not good with people. My greatest sin is being a girl who doesn’t smile. Before you guys, my brothers were my only real friends.” Besides Stone.
I’ve never told them about him. Partly, because I’m afraid they won’t understand how I became best friends with a ten-year-old boy. But also, because it still hurts to think about that last night.
I never saw him again. I wanted to go see him, but I didn’t know what to say after the way he’d run off so hurt and angry. I was afraid showing up unannounced would make things worse. And so, I let him be.
Matty doesn’t say anything, but after sharing a dorm room with her all year, I understand her silences as well as I do her spoken words. If she’s quiet, she’s thinking. I glance at Jack in the rearview mirror, and her sad smile makes me self-conscious.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I take initiative when it matters. I’m not crazy about people in general. I don’t really mind that they leave me alone.” Silence falls and when I look in my rearview mirror at Jack, I notice a pair of headlights far behind us. It’s the first car I’ve seen since pulled off the 45.
Matty breaks the silence. “I’d seen you before that day we met in the stacks. I’d heard your family was rich. And I thought…a girl who looks like you, with money, who doesn’t smile and eats alone, I thought you were aloof. I was surprised when you suggested I use the book first. I should have known better; I know what it is to be judged for things I can’t help.”
“I didn’t know you felt like that. Reggie, I’m so sorry,” Jack leans forward to hug me.
I give her an awkward pat but keep my eyes on the road. “You’re going to make me drive off the road.” I grumble, but with a smile on my face.
“I thought your magical cowboy boots could save us from anything,” Matty wiggles her fingers at my ribs again, and I shriek with laughter.
A glance in my rearview mirror smothers my good humor.
The car is closer now. So close, I can tell that he’s going faster than me. This is a two-lane road; I could let him pass me. But I’d rather stay ahead because the shoulder is nonexistent, and I don’t want to risk being side swiped.
I punch the gas and speed up to keep a good distance between us and try to relax for the rest of the drive. I need tonight and all the debauchery it promises.
I’ve spent the summer with my hair tamed, my clothes tailored, my legs stockinged and my smile plastered on. I’m itching for a little bit of Weston’s dark.
I turn off at the exit when the GPS instructs me to. The car that had been so far behind us is only a few car lengths away now and pulls off the exit behind us.
This close I can tell it’s a big truck and I speed up as soon as I come out of the curved bend of the exit. But no matter how fast I go, it keeps pace.
When we turn down the road that leads to the cabin where Weston is having his party, it does too. I know this area well enough to know that these lanes usually have a single house on them. They must be going to the party. I don’t know why my stomach knots like a ninny.
When it doesn’t follow us as I turn into the drive, I almost sag in relief.
Until I see the house.
There are only two cars parked in front. And no lights on in the cabin. It looks abandoned. Hardly the makings of the house party he claimed he was throwing.
“Is this it?” Matty asks just as bright lights cut slices into the car and land on my rearview. The truck is stopped a few feet behind my car and the lights blaze into my car and make it so we can see each other properly for the first time.
I look at my friends and see that neither of them look worried.
“We must be the first people here,” I say and turn the car off.
“Come on, let’s go in. I promise this is going to be a night like you’ve never had.”
Over the next seventy-two hours, I’ll wish for a return to my normal everyday boring life, more times than I draw breath.
