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So, I have ignored them since they got here. Rachael started whining about fifteen minutes ago, and it is starting to grate on my nerves.
Anthony’s class is up next and I try to turn my attention back to the stage where it belongs.
When his class comes out, Anthony scans the crowd for me and when we make eye contact he gives me a huge grin and a thumbs-up. He's the spitting image of my father when he smiles and it tugs at my heart to think of him missing all of this.
The music cues and I want to cry with pride as he takes his place on stage and starts to sing.
The performance is a perfect disaster as only school programs can be. I stood up when he started so that I could get a better view to video tape the performance.
When he’s done, he jumps off the stage and comes running toward me. I barely have time to open my arms before he's hurling himself into them.
“Mommy, I was awesome!” He grins up at me, his eyes sparkling.
“Yes, little man, you were.” I kiss his head and see my mother coming to join us.
“Nana, did you see me?” he shouts as he wriggles out of my hold to go to my mother. They hug and she teases, “No, I didn’t see you! Were you on the stage?”
“Nana! I was! I was right there!” He points to where he was standing and looking like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
Just then, Kevin and Rachel walk over.
“Anthony. Good job, son,” Kevin says, his voice full of genuine warmth and happiness.
“Daddy!” Anthony sprints to his father, and I feel a pang of sadness in my chest for him. He loves his father more than he loves almost anyone and seeing him is something he relishes above all else.
Kevin has missed so much, and I think about what else he's going to miss as we raise Anthony in two separate households. My stomach turns at the thought. I can’t believe this is my life. I can’t believe I’m watching the man I’ve called my husband for ten years hug my son with one arm while holding another woman’s hand with the other.
“Kevin. Hello,” my mother says with a tone as cold as ice.
Kevin has always loved my mother. She treated him like her own son and since his parents are both deceased, he loved the attention she lavished on him.
“Good evening, Mary.” He lets go of Rachael’s hand and can’t quite meet my mother’s eye.
“I would ask how you are, but I can see you’re doing just fine,” she says, again her tone clipped. She turns her gaze to Rachael, but doesn’t address her.
“We’re going home, Kevin. It’s a school night and it’s late,” I say, trying to end this encounter.
“Well, I was hoping I . . .” Rachael jabs him in the ribs. “I mean we, could take Anthony out to dinner to congratulate him,” Kevin stammers, not looking at me.
I want to slap him. I feel people watching us as they congregate in their own little family clusters. I want to get out of there. How dare he even propose such an idiotic thing?
“It’s Thursday. It’s seven p.m. and he is six years old. He’s already had dinner, and now, he is going home to take a bath and go to bed,” I respond as calmly as I can.
“I told you she’d say no,” Rachael whines loudly.
I kneel down in front of Anthony who is watching our exchange with big, anxious eyes.
“Honey, say good night to Daddy, okay?” “Honey, say good night to Daddy, okay?” He nods at me and walks over to give his dad a hug. I lock eyes with Kevin, but speak to my mother.
“Mom, can you please take Anthony home with you? I just want to say good night to his teacher.”
Without a word, my mother takes Anthony’s hand and walks him out, saying something to him just as they reach the door that makes him laugh.
I watch them walk out and as soon as I see that they have left the room, I turn back to Kevin.
“That was really low. I'm not sure whose idea this was, but don’t use our son as a pawn in your games.”
He gives me a pained looked. “I just want to spend some time with him.”
