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“Then take him to the park on the weekend, come read to him before he goes to bed, but you don’t take a six-year-old out to dinner on a week night,” I hiss.
“You can’t tell him what to do,” Rachael interjects, loud enough that the remaining people in the gym all turn to look at us.
“Lower your voice. This is where Anthony goes to school every day. Do not come here and embarrass him and me because you didn’t get your way.” My voice is low but angry.
I look at Kevin not bothering to disguise the hurt in my eyes.
“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
I turn and walk out of the school’s assembly hall feeling a dozen pair of eyes on me as I try to walk out with as much dignity as I can.
Just as I get outside my phone rings and a number I don’t recognize comes up. I let it go to voicemail and get into my car.
I'm beyond humiliated. I don’t want Kevin back and after my night with Dean, I know that at the very least, our sex life was completely lacking. Yet, to see he has moved on, that he's with someone else hurts. To think this vile person will have access to my son makes me feel like burning something down.
I push the button to start my car to begin the short drive home. Almost as soon as I get ready to put the car in drive my phone rings again. I look at the clock on the dash and it’s almost seven p.m., the time Dean calls, my mood lifts as I answer.
“Dean?”
“Hello?” And just like that my buzz is gone. It’s Kevin.
“Yes, Kevin?”
“Who is Dean?” he snaps.
“None of your business. What could y
ou possibly want?” I snap back.
He's silent for a beat, as if deciding whether to pursue this line of argument, but then he says in a tone that is rushed and quiet, “Look, I just wanted to apologize. Rachael said she wanted to try and get to know Anthony, I wasn’t thinking about it being a school night.”
“Fine,” I say with a calm I’m not really feeling.
“Fine? That’s it?”
“You’ve called, you told me why you did what you did. What else should I say?”
“Shit. You’re such a bitch,” he snarls. And then he hangs up.
“Takes one to know one,” I mutter to myself.
I'm turning into our driveway now. As I pull into the garage, I just sit there contemplating the evening and the state of my life in general.
I sigh and my forehead hits the steering wheel. I start thinking about Kevin and decide that I’d rather not. Stunts like the one he pulled tonight make me worry that our relationship is only going to get more acrimonious.
I pull my phone out and open my voicemails. That missed call was Dean, and it is the most pleasant of surprises when his voice floods my car’s speakers.
“Hey, Red. It’s me. I miss you.” I can hear the longing in his voice and my heart and thighs clench in unison. “It’s been such a busy week, but I’ll be back tomorrow. Can I take you to dinner? I was thinking Claudia’s again, since that seems to be our place? Wear your hair up, so I can take it down. What do you say? I miss you. Call me.”
I listen to it, on a repeat loop for five minutes before I get out of my car and go put my son to sleep.
20
* * *
It’s Friday night and today has been a particularly stressful one. I’m so glad I’ve decided to start this business. Not just because I’ll be earning an income. But because I’ve realized the Milly who was class mother, always at school volunteering, was living a lie. My wings, long tucked under my body and unused, are starting to unfold.
I'm not judging those for whom that is enough, but I'm realizing it isn't enough for me. That I'm planning a party for Dean makes it even more high stakes. I want it to be perfect.
