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“I’m sorry for this scene . . .” I whisper, my throat suddenly tight with unshed tears.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he returns and then he draws me into his arms.
We stand there and for the first time since I woke up, I feel a sense of peace and calm settle around my shoulders.
“Red, I’m going to get going. I know you’re eager to see your son, and I’ve got to get home for a call and get ready to get back to the office tomorrow.”
I want to beg him to stay. “Okay. Yes. Thank you.” I hug him again, reveling in the feel of his hard body.
He leans down and presses his lips to mine—it’s a soft kiss, yet it’s also heavy. I want to wrap all four limbs around him.
“Have a good week. Can I see you soon?” he asks, pulling away from my mouth, but holding me in his bottle green gaze.
“Yes, that would be nice. I’ll plan something.”
I smile at him as he draws away. He passes my mother in the hallway and she stops him with a gentle palm laid on his chest. He stops and smiles softly down at her.
“My daughter has the heart of a lion. Do not underestimate her.” She says all of this while staring straight into his eyes.
Dean looks perplexed and slightly startled, but only says, “Never,” while he puts a hand over the one she has on his chest and pats it. He leans down to kiss her cheek.
I feel like they are having a conversation that I’ve missed a huge part of.
He looks back at me and smiles. “See you, Red.” And with a wave, he walks out of the living room.
I turn to my mother. “What was that about?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to remind him you are stronger than you may appear.”
Not satisfied, but not willing to push it right now, I just say, “Right.”
I turn to leave the room and she calls after me. “I like him.”
For the second time today, my heart catches. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear this until she said it. And I also realize that although she treated him with kindness and respect these are words she has never said to me about Kevin.
I smile to myself as I start up the stairs to my son’s room. He's passed out on his bed, his sweet mouth parted, and his arms and legs splayed wide.
I run my hand over his curly head of hair and lie down beside him. The rest of the world melts away, as I drift off to sleep again.
25
* * *
Mondays are my kryptonite. I feel like I'm being punished when my alarm clock goes off at six. I groan and start to press snooze, but remember I’ve got a lot to accomplish today. I start going over my mental to-do list and a bubble of joy and fear well in my gut.
I spent Sunday with Anthony. We caught a movie, ate lunch at his favorite restaurant, the Lebanese Tarvena in Downtown Silver Spring, and then puttered around Barnes and Noble looking for new books.
He also had a playdate with his friend Isaiah from soccer camp. We met at the park in our neighborhood. She's older than I am and like me, has only one child. She isn’t married and had Isaiah with the help of a sperm donor and medical science.
One of the casualties of my hyper focus on my marriage over the last ten years has been relationships with people who are not members of my family. I never fit in with the other mothers at school, and so I’m so happy to have a friend.
She sent a text and said she had a day off and wanted to get together; I jumped at the chance.
It’s a gorgeous day and the boys are chasing each other on the jungle gym as Laila and I chat.
I’ve just finished telling her about the last six months of my life. I test out telling someone about Dean by telling her.
She squeals when I’m done. “Oh, my God. That is amazing! You go, girl! I wish some handsome hottie would come and sweep me off my feet.” She giggles as she looks at me, her warm brown eyes sparkling with delight.
