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“Oh, Harry.” Freya’s voice is anguished. She is beyond consoling and she wails, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been so single minded. And miserable. I thought fixing you up with Camille would be a good thing. I mean, she’s familiar. She’s also too worried about appearances to do anything as uncouth as have an affair. I just wanted you to be with someone who couldn’t hurt you the way Zara had. And after everything you told me about Lilly. You can still have her, but Harry…you can’t marry her. She wouldn’t be accepted. You would be a laughing stock. She’s too old. Her parentage is not European, not even a little.”
With every word, I’ve felt my anger ratchet up. She clears her throat.
“Well, besides all of that, I just thought…” she trails of and then straightening her shoulders and looking me fully in the eye, she says “I thought she was going to break your heart. I didn’t like her and I could see that you were starting to fall back under her spell. The way you watched her even when Camille was sitting right to you…I just knew that I needed to find a way to stop it. I didn’t know how to. There was nothing and I’ve spent the last two weeks fretting as I’ve watched you become completely besotted. So, when Camille brought me what she found, I didn’t think before I rushed over to expose her. Oh, God. I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve just done. I thought she had some secret baby. How could I have known what she’d been through?”
My heart stings with the memory of Lilly’s heartbreak when Freya confronted her. She’d been enraged, des
pondent, scared. All at once.
The first pang of fear strikes me. I walked out of the room. I was just so fucking angry at Freya and needed to confront her right away, that I hadn’t thought about what my walking out would look like. I look back at my sister, and sigh.
“What you did back there, you’ve ripped a hole in a lot of people’s lives, Freya.” I say. She hangs her head. I’m not going to sugar coat any of this for her. “You’re owe a lot of people apologies and you need to spend some time thinking about your own life. But right now, I need to get back to Lilly. Freya, I love you. I always will. But you’ve got see how what you did, what you told me about Zara, how all of that changes things between us.”
“But Harry.” She wails and starts to sob again.
“You’re my sister. I know that we don’t have a choice but to get past this. But it’s going to take some time and lots of work. And it’s going to take Lilly forgiving you, too. Because I can tell you this. If she’ll have me, I don’t care what she’s done or where she’s from - I intend to build a life with her. So, you’re going to have to get things right with her, too.” She nods, but doesn’t stop crying.
I step away, my sole desire is to get to Lilly. To be there because she needs me and to answer my own questions.
I rush back down the hall. I open the door to the living room and find it deserted. I run up the stairs and in a few minutes, I’m standing outside her door. My heart is racing, not from the dash up the stairs, but from fear. I don’t know what I’m going to if I can’t talk to her tonight.
I gather my courage and then knock.
She opens it almost immediately. Her hair is scraped up into a haphazard pile on her head. Her eyes are red rimmed and her nose red.
“Harry. Oh my God…I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you. I swear. I…”
“I’m glad to know that.” I say quietly. I don’t take my eyes from hers. I don’t know how I feel about her keeping it from me. Of course, I wish she’d told me but from what she said when everything was crazy in the living room, she hadn’t planned on telling anyone. Ever. She felt entitled to keep it to herself. She didn’t feel like it was something she owed anyone.
What I feel is pain. Knowing that she’s hurting so deeply, hurts me. That she lives with a sorrow I’ll never be able to sooth, it burns. That it was my sister who caused this new wound, is like a knife in the heart. But at least I know that this is one I can help heal. If she’ll let me.
She steps aside and says, “Come in.” I enter the sitting area of her suite and turn to face her and place my hands on her shoulders. When she doesn’t flinch or move away, I take it as a good sign.
“First, I need you to know that I’m so sorry that Freya did that. It doesn’t matter what her intentions were, it was cruel and wrong. And she knows that now.”
Her lip curls in disdain, and then she squeezes her lips together and takes a deep breath.
“Does she? Her intentions seemed very clear to me, Harry.” She says, her voice strong, without a single quaver in it. Her eyes flash with anger. I don’t blame her.
“I know. And I’m not saying anything other than, I’m sorry that she behaved in such a callous way. I’m so sorry you were hurt.” I extend my hand to cup her cheek and the words she was about to speak seem to die on her lips. Her eyes soften and glisten.
“You’re sorry I was hurt?” She smiles sadly, her beautiful golden eyes scan my entire face. As if she’s trying to memorize it. As if she’s planning on not seeing it again for a long time.
I tense.
“You’re not sorry you ever met me? You don’t think I’m a liar? You ‘re not disgusted that I hid a pregnancy from my family and then gave my daughter away? And you’re not horrified that I spend my entire life acting as if she doesn’t exist?”
Her eyes dry as she speaks, the gold that’s usually shimmering, dulls. She radiates grief. She’s already mourning what she assumes will be the end of our relationship.
“Lilly. I don’t think you’re a liar. Nothing about you horrifies or disgusts me. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have ever known the powerful connection that a person can only have with their soul mate.” I whisper.
Her face crumbles and she steps out of my reach. My palm falls from her face, but my entire hand tingles. My hand can still feel the soft press of her cheek. I look at her and say, “Lilly, I love you.”
Her entire body starts to tremble and step forward to grab her when she looks like she’s starting to sway.
As soon as I arm goes around her waist, she sags into me.
And then, in the smallest voice she says “Harry. There’s more. I have more to tell you.”
