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Lucía notices me just before I open the door and as soon as I do, they stop talking.
I sigh, but don’t say anything. I start the ignition and pull out of the driveway without saying a word. Neither do they and we sit like that, in a fraught silence for a long time.
We’re on the 405 headed south, not quite sure what my final destination is tonight, before I decide to speak.
“Tell me what’s going on. If you knew what they were going to do, why didn’t you warn us?” My voice is gentle. I try not to sound accusatory, but right now, that’s how I feel. I don’t understand the role her mother plays in all of this.
“Reece, I’m sorry—” Lucía starts.
“No.” Her mother’s voice is stronger than I’ve ever heard it before. “No, I’m sorry. I did what I thought would keep Lucía safe.”
“Safe from what? From them reporting her?”
“Yes,” she says her voice losing all its confidence.
“Mama, why didn’t you say anything? All this time. They’re always going to want more from us. It won’t ever be enough.” She sounds anguished and it’s like every single nerve ending in my body can feel it.
“And I’ll give them more. And you should, too. You need to keep them quiet.”
I feel a chill run through me at the exchange.
“Have you given them money already?” I ask her, not able to hide the disbelief from my voice.
“She’s given them everything I’ve given her,” Lucía responds for her, anguish now layered with frustration. I don’t respond. I’m not sure how to.
She responds with equal emotion. “If I hadn’t, your name would be in the papers by now. I’ve seen all those young people being arrested. DREAMERs, like you. The country has changed and it doesn’t matter if you’re breaking the law or not, they will send you back to Mexico. And I’ve already lost everyone. I wasn’t going to lose you, too.”
Lucía sighs wearily.
Through my rear view mirror, I see her mother reach out and smooth back her hair. “I’m sorry, Ana.”
She meets my eyes in the mirror and I wonder if it’s just today or if that heartbreak is part of her permanent visage. I see her shoulders square before I look back to the road and then hear her say, “If you want this to go away, if you really want to be free, you need to leave this country and go back to Mexico.”
36
Lucía
My eyes immediately go to the rear view mirror to try and catch a glimpse of Reece’s face. It’s too dark and all I can see in the shadowy darkness of the car are pieces of his forehead and part of his nose. His eyes are hidden. But I can feel his hackles rise at her words. I’d hoped to have this conversation with him when we were alone.
“I know,” I say to my mother. All my earlier sadness is gone, replaced with outrage.
“You could come back. But it would take time. There’s a penalty period, but maybe you could get a waiver,” she says, her voice sounding hopeful and I find myself stunned speechless for a moment.
“I know. I talked to a lawyer,” I return.
Reece hasn’t said a word, but he speaks up then. “You talked to a lawyer?” he asks. I nod.
“But why? Why haven’t you said anything?”
I want to plead with him to understand. I feel sadder now than I have in a long time.
“It’s best, Ana. You should go.” This comes from my mother. I turn to look at her. Resentment wells in me.
My mother, who sent me to live with those monsters. Who distanced herself from me and as soon as I think we might be able to salvage a relationship, is talking about sending me away again. Except this time, she’s not the only person I’d be leaving behind. I look at Reece again and this time when I meet his eyes, I can see that he is angr
y.
My mother’s eyes follow mine to him and what she sees causes her eyes to widen.
