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questions, let’s start with your fantasies.” His gaze remained fixed, his eyes unwavering.

“My fantasies?”

“Yes. What do you think about when you masturbate?”

My god, I wondered if I could do this. “You…you want me to tell you…” I could barely speak. “I’m…I’m not sure if I can.”

“Alex!” The sharpness in his voice further electrified the moment. “You know exactly what I want you to tell me. Now begin.”

I squirmed in the chair, feeling so exposed and vulnerable. He might as well have asked me to remove my clothes. He continued to stare at me until I began, and then as I started he turned to gaze through the windows toward the pool, allowing me to ramble through my disjointed tale without having to look him in the eye.

“My first fantasies began in a bar…I’d be dancing…lewdly. Attracting men and when they joined me, they’d play…intimately, running their hands over my body…of course it led to sex – if I got that far.” I took a deep breath, hoping he’d stop me and when he didn’t, I continued. “Sometimes, I’d do a striptease in front of a crowd of men, wet t-shirt contest,” I admitted with some chagrin, “there was a biker bar, too, and big, burly, brutal men…stuff like that.”

Reggie turned to me. “Stuff like what?”

“Like…having sex, getting used by them.”

“In public?”

I grimaced. “Sometimes.”

“And these things actually happened?”

“Not exactly. But something similar. The bars were the same, the people, the men, the dancing, but I wasn’t ready…” My voice was nearly inaudible. “I got scared and ran.”

He stared out the window again, then back at me. “And there’s more. Go on.”

“But Will’s already told you…” I started to protest.

Again he looked at me, eyes boring through my body, “I want you to tell me, in your words.”

I gulped back my mounting emotion and took a deep breath. “When I met Will, the fantasies changed. They were stranger and very dark. I became submissive to masterful men. I was bound and spanked and made to serve them…like a slave.”

“How did you find this master in your fantasies?”

“My lover took me to him.”

“And what did this master have you do?”

He stared directly into my eyes now and I looked away. I was afraid I was writing my own script, afraid to tell him the whole truth, but even more afraid to lie. He would know somehow and I would regret that lie. I breathed deeply again, gathering up my courage—at the moment I would have rather taken on a roomful of men than confess to this one man. You can get through this, Alex, I kept telling myself, then suddenly drawing on courage I didn’t know I had I looked at him, not flinching this time and spilled the truth. “The master gives me opportunities to express my darkest desires. He tells me how to dress. He gives me to his friends…for sex. He makes me dance for them, then auctions me off.” I continued, laying out every detail I could remember from those long agitated nights. “The scenes evolve…never quite the same each night, but perhaps the most extreme…he takes me to a special room where he binds me and uses a strap on my ass, and that beating arouses me to orgasm.” As I tell my tale, I can feel the excitement in me rise.

“And how does it end?” he asked.

End? What did he mean? I was nervous, sweating, trembling from a deep place inside me, and yet, before I could consider his question for long, the truth spilled unexpectedly from my lips, driven by the growing desire generated by this remarkable man.

“The master made love to me and I made love to him.” I spoke in whispers, but the power of them gave life to my intention. I finished with that final confession. What more could I say? It seemed like a long while before either of us moved. When Reggie finally did, he drew a cigarette from a pack on the table, lit it with a gold lighter and after taking a drag, he handed it to me.

“No, thank you.”

He raised his brows, a signal of authority to match the gaze that pierced me. I immediately understood. Taking the cigarette, I put it to my lips and inhaled. Like a child’s first attempt, I choked. Reggie snickered and swiped the cigarette from my hand.

“You hide well, Alex.” He rose from his chair and proceeded to retrieve an ashtray from another table, then returned and sat down. Leaning back in his chair he took another puff. “As long as you’re here under my direction, I expect a woman of choice, not a poor little girl. You give me a woman or you don’t belong here.”

His dominating words sent a chill through me. But suddenly I had more to say and I couldn’t stop myself from explaining.

“I’m giving you the best that I can give you. Am I expected to find this easy?” The tone of my voice, even my choice of words surprised me, but I went on. “I don’t really know who I am, or what I want, but I’ve given up my past to be here and find out. I’ll do what you ask but I can’t guarantee I’ll walk into this without a glimpse of the woman I once was. She’s not that distant a memory. You’ll have to live with that fact, or I can’t be here.”

While I sat back bewildered by my sudden candor, Reggie smiled, apparently amused by my outburst.

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