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“You had the man spank you!” Will charged at me with eyes flashing. He’d never been angry like this – at least not that I could recall.
“I’m so sorry, honestly. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Couldn’t help yourself? Really?” He shook his head in disbelief. “So, how the hell did you find this man? Pluck him off the street, and say ‘please spank my bottom?’”
I bit my lip, knowing that this would never sound right to him, but I had to explain.
“I saw his name in an online ad.” My face was hot and flushed, and likely beet red. How did I let myself get caught in this disaster? Foolish. Naïve. And totally stupid of me to come home looking so distraught. I’ve never been a good liar. But then, it never entered my mind that he would be there. He wasn’t supposed to be home in the first place. But once he saw me, I knew I was in trouble. He can read me as if I were an open book.
“A personal ad?” He was astounded. “Where the hell did spanking get mentioned in a personal ad? And why would you be looking at on-line personals in the first place?”
“It was on a spanking site I some sometimes go to – you know my fantasies.”
“Oh yes, I know your fantasies,” he said with a sarcastic smirk. “So, you just order up any little fantasy you desire?”
“It’s not really like that,” I said meekly.
“So how many times have you been with this guy?” he continued.
I gulped, my face twisted into a grimace. “Three.”
“Three!”
“Yeah,” I came back weakly. There was something about the whole thing, I couldn’t stay away.”
“Like what, what couldn’t you stay away from?”
Will was hurt, very hurt, even though it came out in the form of anger. I bit my lip again, blushing like a naughty kid. How could I tell him, how could I even begin?
“I guess the desire has never really gone away.” I thought that should explain it all.
“So you wanted to be punished?”
“I guess so.”
“And you didn’t come to me?”
It had been over three years since I’d been ‘trained’ to follow my submissive inclinations. Will had taken me to his good friend and lifestyle dominant Reggie for the full treatment. My strange sexual predilections had only frustrated us both. As much as we loved each other, as great as the sex was, there was a darker side of me that I needed to explore. One day I’d say I wanted to indulge in some odd sexual kink, only to get freaked out and change my mind about it soon as Will got involved. We both got so frustrated I thought it would tear our relationship apart. Reggie became the answer we needed. He was not emotionally attached to me the way Will was, and he didn’t allow me to change my mind on a whim. Once I agreed to be submit to him, I had to give up control. It wa
s a tough struggle and it wasn’t an easy time for me. There were some fierce lessons to be learned, but it let me back to Will.
I wonder now how I ended up in yet another sticky situation with the man I love.
I know that when I left Reggie, I’d had enough of being controlled. I wasn’t ready to let Will punish me the way Reggie had. I wanted something softer and more intimate than Reggie’s cool domination – although I wasn’t exactly sure what it was. For months I wavered back and forth in a strange vacuum. But the one consistent thing, I ignored Will’s attempts to exert his control over me. I claimed I’d been ‘healed’ of my need for dominance/submission, and the two of us basked in the more easily acceptable aspects of our relationship. Will was fooled. He loved his newfound sexual siren who liked to dress in sexy clothes, who would tease him mercilessly, and would have sex with him almost any time he asked. My openness thrilled him even though submission was shoved conveniently under the rug.
However, when I stumbled into a spanking website, I found myself drawn to stories and the testimonials, and eventually into the alluring advertisements. I wondered what it would be like to be submissively held in a man’s lap and be spanked. It would certainly be a different kind of submission than I experienced in Reggie’s hands.
Choosing Keith’s ad, I had no idea what I was getting into, but I knew I had to go through with at least one spanking session. As much as I tried to push the thought from my mind, it soon became an obsession. Keith’s ad led me to believe that this dominant man was experienced, sensitive and interesting. What more could I ask? After all, it was just a spanking, nothing more. One measly little spanking – what could be wrong with that?
I met Keith at a hotel restaurant on an evening three weeks ago. I was initially apprehensive, of course, thinking as I waited for him in the hotel bar, that I was being totally foolish for meeting a stranger like this. Yet our conversations over the phone had been delightful; the tingling rush hearing his stern voice reminded me how much I yearned for that kind of interaction with a man.
On first glance, I found Keith reasonably attractive and yes, very stern. He was a professor at the University, telling me he taught medieval literature. I even verified his credentials at the University website, which he urged me to do. His interest in spanking was completely ‘recreational,’ a term I thought amusing, but perhaps apropos for the relationship we were contemplating. Purely platonic. I insisted on that.
Keith bought me a drink which settled me down, and for nearly a half hour we talked about nothing in particular. My hands were sweating and my face was flushed the whole time, not to mention that my bottom tingled in anticipation.
“So Alex, I think it’s time we got on with the correction,” Keith said looking at me in a very formal way.
“Okay,” I replied.
