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“An appointment with Mr. Harold,” I politely told the woman. “My name’s Alex.”
“Yes, he’s expecting you,” she said smiling.
I hadn’t called him personally three days before. I let the secretary arrange the meeting. It was easier than trying to explain my dilemma on the phone. I couldn’t believe how much I was trembling at the thought of seeing him after all this time, trembling more than I even did that first time, and far more than I had when I first met Keith. There was a quality about this meeting different from anything I’d ever experienced. It was sexual certainly, and submissive, and from my point of view extraordinarily humiliating.
Never say never. I was certainly eating my words now.
I’d vowed when I left Reggie never to return to him. I didn’t need him. At a very horrifying time in my life, going to Reggie was an awakening. He helped me understand the great cloud of fantasy and desire that so often occupied my mind. He made me feel accepted for the raunchy things I thought about. My submissive tendencies, all those kinky sexual thoughts were all right in Reggie’s world. And for a while, I was even smitten by the dashing dominant man.
But that changed. The ‘love affair’ we had fallen on its face. Rudely. In fact, I actually left under a guise of triumph. I bested Reggie Harold in his games; when it came to his playing in my world of love and intimacy, he came up strangely shallow. He couldn’t return the real affection and love that I had for him. For reasons I’m still not sure about, Reggie was oddly lacking in any real depth of feeling.
Returning to Will after that revelation became one wonderful reunion of body and soul. Too bad now, I never tried to integrate the ‘games’ I played with Reggie into my life with Will. I was certainly paying for it now.
“Mr. Harold will see you now,” the blonde announced. She rose from her chair and escorted me to the massive walnut double doors leading to Reggie’s office. It was plush in the outer office and I expected something even more elegant beyond the doors, I wasn’t disappointed. Opening the door, the secretary motioned me inside and my jaw practically dropped to the floor as I looked at the enormous walnut desk set against a backdrop of floor to ceiling windows looking out on the city. Everything about the office was first class. I wouldn’t expect otherwise, knowing how lovely his country estate was.
Reggie was not at his desk but at the far end of the room. I turned to see him coming from his private bath. He had the sleeves of his white starched shirt rolled up as if he had been working on something that required such informality. A lock of his usually well-groomed hair had fallen in his eye. His aristocratic jaw, aquiline nose and impeccable presence were as they had always been, enough to send my female juices flowing.
“Alexandra, how are you?” he said approaching me as he rolled down his sleeves, and buttoned his cuffs.
He grabbed me at the shoulders and drew me to him, giving me a kiss on the cheek, warmer than any affectionate gesture he’d ever bestowed on me.
How could I hate him when he sent my desires through the roof!
“You look terrific. Come in, sit down,” he said with an expansive gesture, motioning me to a chair in front of his desk.
“I’m well,” I replied. I was hardly great, wonderful, ‘happy as a lark’ well. I couldn’t lie.
I sat in front of him thinking it strange to see him in this venue when in the past we’d only been together at his estate. A few ventures out, but never here.
“The suit is quite suited to you, Alex,” Reggie noted. He was a connoisseur of style, had always been particularly concerned with how I dressed. In our former association, he’d often demanded certain attire which I sometimes resisted and always found challenging. Wearing the black suit today, I was totally comfortable in the short skirt and deep cut jacket. The lavender lace teddy under the top was meant to provoke a man’s reaction, and dressing this way had really become second nature for me. The truth was, I knew I’d chosen this particular outfit for a little confidence booster; I knew I looked terrific in it. If I hadn’t had my whole life hanging in the balance, I would certainly have enjoyed Reggie’s positive response more.
“So, to what do I owe this visit?” Reggie asked.
He looked perfectly ignorant of any knowledge of my crimes, perhaps, Will hadn’t talked to him; a circumstance I greeted with displeasure. Will really didn’t expect me to do this, which made the likelihood of a reconciliation seem even more remote.
“I need a favor,” I said. This was hardly the way to begin, but I wasn’t sure how else to start.
A favor?” he raised his eyebrows.
I took a deep breath, tried to start and stopped. I wanted to stop the tears that were forming in my eyes.
“You’re very agitated, my love, is there something wrong?”
“Will left me. We broke up,” I said. I could hardly say it without crying.
“Oh, really, I find that rather difficult to believe, I think of you two as the perfect couple.” He might have mocked me with this statement, but he was perfectly sincere.
“That is, unless I can prevent it.”
“Maybe you should be more explicit,” Reggie proposed.
I smiled, chagrined. “I am being kind of vague, aren’t I?”
He smiled in return, waiting patiently for me to gather my wits about me.
“I had an affair of sorts. Will found out, and he’s totally unwilling to remain with me. He feels as though I’ve completely destroyed his trust, and I’m completely desperate to make amends.”
“An affair? That surprises me. You always impressed me as someone impeccably honest.”
