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He laughed. “You’re really one piece of work, Alex. Will Kozak goes to the wall for you, gives you to me for months at a time, waits to see if you even want him. Then, when you come back to him, you’re up to your old games without batting an eye. And now, after you deceive him, you balk because everything is not neat and tidy with him again, in what? Six days?”
“You’re going to be as hard on me as he is,” I observed.
“You’re damn right, Alexandra. If you value your relationship, if you believe that it’s worth paying a few prices to keep, then you’ll grit your teeth and take what’s coming to you. After all, you were the one that created this mess.”
I didn’t like hearing his assessment of my life, but I’d invited his counsel. There was nothing I could do but listen.
“It’s back to control, luv,” he said, shaking his head. “Just remember, you’re going through some adjustments. You don’t want the relationship back the way it used to be. That didn’t work for either of you, so don’t try to make it that way again. He’s the man you want, he’s the man you’ve always been attracted to. For god’s sake, allow him to be himself, be real yourself. You might be surprised.”
“I am attracted to Will. Passionately. But then, I’ve been attracted to you too,” I reminded him.
“No, not really. With me you’re just attracted to a perfect fantasy in your head. With Will you have everything else between you, the love, or are you forgetting that?”
“That’s what I need right now, and I’m not getting.”
“Be patient, you’re looking for instantaneous cures, while Will is making up for lost time.”
I looked at his almost kind face, a trace of friendliness threatening to break out. “I still wonder sometimes if I shouldn’t have loved you all along. It seems that it’s always been much easier between us.”
“I’m not so sure of that, the way you rebelled. Though believe me, when I think of the women I should have loved, you do come to mind. But it would never work. I kno
w that. It would all fall apart the instant we really tried to be more than just dominant and submissive.”
“You’re so sure,” I said.
“You don’t run into brick walls as many times as I have, and not know certain things.”
“You surprise me,” I conceded. “Sometimes you make me so furious I could spit, but now you’re almost, and I mean almost vulnerable.”
He chuckled. “I’ll have to watch that. Truth is: I’m just like everyone else, some things I see clearly; but there are others that are as vague as my own face viewed in a muddy puddle.”
I thought that an odd description. I’d never heard him speak about himself that way before.
“I wouldn’t give up on love, Reg, you might just surprise yourself.”
“And don’t you give up on Will. You need him.” He sounded There he was again, sounding like a stern but reassuring parent.
***
That night, Will was at the apartment when I got home from work. He was sitting in the chair just as he had the other three times he’d invaded my dwelling. Seeing him there instantly made my bottom tingle, and I was ready to cry looking at the wicked expression on his face.
“So you told on me,” he said, looking at me with dark cold eyes.
I stopped in my tracks. “Reggie told you?” I whined.
“In detail.”
“That rat!”
“Come here, Alex,” he motioned me to him, and I made the cautious journey to his side, standing next to him. He reached out and stroked my thigh. “It’s kind of funny, you’re going to Reggie to complain. So you think I’m too hard on you?”
“I’m not complaining, but I suppose you’re going to punish me just for talking to him.”
“No.”
“Okay,” I replied. I was suspicious, considering our last three times together. His hand on my thigh was having a distinctly sexual effect.
“No. But I will tell you this, if you’re frustrated with the way things are, that’s really too bad. I told you when I first came back that I was in charge.”
