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He continued to massage my thigh. And I can’t say I minded the way this first little tenderness from him in months was making my mangled heart suddenly soar.
“I’m going to do things my way, darling, and you’d better get used to it.”
“I just wanted everything else we used to have, too,” I said. “The affection, the tenderness, the sex.” I emphasized the last.
“That’s coming, I promise.”
His hand rose to my upper thigh, moving to the inside of my leg. I knew my pussy was dampening, the desire climbing to an almost impossible degree. I pressed myself against his hand, wanting more. And yet I felt so precarious and exposed; I wasn’t used to this with him. It was another thing that was easy with Reggie. Though not with Will. “I’m scared,” I whispered, practically in tears. “But I still want it to work.”
“Well then, we’ll keep working at it, and all you have to do is give up control.”
By then my legs were like jelly, and I knew Will well enough to know that we were on our way to sex. I wanted it more than anything, but I was scared of that too.
His hand made its way to my crotch, though suddenly he seemed to change his mind, and he meandered to my bottom, leaving my throbbing cunt to remain untouched. Squeezing my ass firmly, his tight grasp reminded me of the punishing spankings he’d given me that week. There were still places on my bottom that were tender, and I winced as sharp pains raced through me. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he began to probe between my ass cheeks.
“He told you about that, too?”
Will didn’t say a word, his expression said everything. Standing up, he surrounded me with a warm hug, though it didn’t last long. He was far too intent on taking me than being kind.
“Been a long time, Alex,” he said, as his fingers probed deeper into my rear cleft, to my bottom hole. He pulled a jar of cream from the table where he’d placed it, and the cream became lubricant to grease my rear channel. I let the feelings begin there, remembering well how Reggie had screwed me, and I hadn’t flinched or protested because I couldn’t. I wondered what would have happened if I did with Will?
For an instant I thought I’d test him, see if he would balk the way he used to. But it was so unfair, and I’d just be controlling as I’d been before. Making the decision not to refuse him made all the erotic sensations in my body that much stronger. Was this what submission felt like?
When he turned me around and pushed me over the arm of the chair, I was ready for him, even eager for him to violate me the way he often wanted. The entry was easy and swift; and he rode me gently, even though from time to time he slapped my bottom just to remind me of my place. I was all his, demanding nothing for myself, and grateful that after all these weeks, we’d at last progressed to this point. As he exploded inside, I found my own orgasm mount and spill deliciously over the edge in sensuous waves to match his much stronger climax. By the time he finally withdrew, I felt weak as a kitten and well used.
Will pulled me from the chair immediately, I was almost too limp to stand; though he was strong enough to keep me on my feet. His hand was in my hair, his lips on my forehead, while I remained tight to his chest. I clung tightly to him, afraid he’d leave.
“You’ve forgiven me?” I whispered, with my face buried in his chest.
“Yes, I’ve forgiven you.” And a little more of me collapsed contentedly against him.
We stayed locked together for a while not moving. And though I should have felt a good deal of satisfaction, my mind was already wondering what would happen next.
“So, you don’t need to punish me again?” I ventured.
“Punish you anymore for deceiving me? No. Keep you in line? Yes.”
“And you’ll be moving back in?” I asked. We were on a roll and I was starting to ride high.
Will tightened up, almost imperceptibly, but I felt it. He pushed me away, gently. “No,” he said.
I was devastated, in tears and wanting to tear myself away, but he held me firmly by the shoulders.
“We’re starting over, remember?”
“Completely?”
“I’m not going to move fast, Alex. We’ll get this right this time, before we start making commitments we can’t keep.”
“But?” I started my protest, a whole string of promises ready to spill out.
“Shush,” he said, putting his hand against my mouth, knowing what I was about to do. “You have lots to think about, and I’m going to give you plenty of time to do that. Now I think I’d better go.”
That was it. He left me with as much desire and loneliness as when he left after the punishments. I was filled brim full of guilt and regret that I’d ever let our relationship come to this. Though at least this time, there was some glimmer of hope.
***
I remember the weeks that followed for their extremes: the wild highs of being with Will, romantically, sexually and as his willing submissive. He was testing me. There’s no other way to describe the treatment. I’ve never known the man to be so deliberate, cautious and so thorough.
