Page 19 of Vacations from Hell


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Liz yawns. “Because it’s nine A.M. Did we really have to get here this early? We’re the only ones at the pool.”

“I don’t want him to disappear again.”

“It’s not like he has anywhere to go. He’s kind of boat-locked.”

“As long as a vampire doesn’t get him and throw him overboard,” I say, and stretch my legs out in front of me. “Hailey is meeting us around eleven.”

“What do you think of her?” she asks me.

“I like her,” I say. “You?”

“There’s something off about her. I like it.”

“Maybe she’s a vampire,” I say.

“She is not a vampire,” Liz says.

“She’s pale. Good sense of smell. She’s traveling alone.”

“She’s here with her mom,” Liz reminds me.

“So she says.”

Liz closes her eyes and then opens them again. “I’m hungry. Wanna get something to eat?”

“Um, no thanks. I’m still full from your midnight treat. Thanks for bringing me that snack from the bar, by the way.”

“Alrighty, I’ll see you later.” She blows me a kiss and sashays off.

I don’t mind having a minute alone. The breeze is in my hair, the sky is bright blue—it’s a perfect day.

What could be better?

James. Seeing James could make this better. Yes, I know James Bond isn’t his real name, but I can call him whatever I like. I sigh and close my eyes. There are lots of other guys who could be my first. But there was something about James…. He’d be perfect. He’s the one! My first! Of course he doesn’t know this yet. He doesn’t even know my name yet. I don’t even know his name yet. In fact I hardly know anything about him except that he’s a student at Penn and he looks great in a tux.

But I know he’s perfect.

I have to find him.

By eleven Hailey has set up next to me. By twelve Liz is back with messy hair and a naughty smile on her face.

“And what took you so long?” I ask.

She winks. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

By two there’s still no James at this pool, and I decide I might as well look around the ship. “I wonder where he is,” I say.

If he’s not going to come to me, I’m going to have to go to him.

“Anyone wanna come stalk James with me?” I ask.

“Definitely,” Liz says, slipping on her flip-flops.

The three of us hit the deck.

“Let’s see,” Liz says. “There are three other pools on the boat. Which one will he be at?”

“Let’s start at the top and work our way down,” Hailey suggests.

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