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“What were your well-roundeds?” Nicole asked, using the pageant terminology for the skills that gave a Miss Teen Dream an edge.
“Oh, nothing much,” Shanti said with practiced humility. “Opera. Botany. Chemistry. Fencing. Cello. Synchronized Tae Kwon Do. Indian dance. And, of course, I can make popadam as my mother and grandmother taught me. Family tradition is important, and my family is lucky enough to celebrate both our Indian heritage and the customs of this great country.”
She smiled right at Nicole, who immediately chewed on her pinkie nail.
“My family traditions are alcoholism and dysfunction,” Jennifer said. “Oh, and anything you can make from government cheese.”
Taylor clapped again for attention. “All right, ladies. This is your new team leader talking. Right now, we are not competitors. We are all one team. Let’s find a place to camp and look for firewood. Tonight, we’ll keep watch in shifts. When we’re rescued, The Corporation will be so proud of us, they’ll probably give us a summer variety show. ‘In the pageant of life, a girl picks up fallen sequins and turns them into a brand-new dress of awesome.’ Ladybird Hope’s How to Be Perfect in Every Way, page forty-two. Let’s build us a fire, Teen Dreamers!”
5The Shills, The Corporation’s wildly popular program about product placement and the teens who love it. Currently, it ranks #3 among the coveted 13–18 demographic, just behind What Would You Do to Be Famous? and My Drama So Tops Your Drama!
6Babez Dolls, the most popular toy for girls ages 4-10. Known for their oversize heads and fabulous accessories, including the Babez Peacock-Feather Sports Bra and the Babez Rockin’ Doc Cubic Zirconia Stethoscope/Microphone and Peel-away Lab Coat. Total sales annually: one billion.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Gee, that went well,” Adina snarked to Mary Lou as they searched for anything remotely flammable.
“Mmm.”
Adina stopped. “What’s that mmm mean?”
“Nothing,” Mary Lou said quickly. “I mean, I don’t want to make you feel bad or anything.”
“Mary Lou, I’ve just survived a plane crash, and now I’m stuck on a hostile island with no food and no way off. Trust me, you’re not going to make me feel any worse.”
“It was talking about how good you are at your school newspaper that turned everybody off.”
“What do you mean?”
Mary Lou picked up a dried frond and added it to the meager pile in her arms. “I don’t know, maybe it’s a Midwestern thing, but where I’m from, you’re not supposed to brag about yourself. That’s what my mom says. She says you should wait for people to recognize your good qualities. And then you should say, like, ‘Oh, no. I’m not really that great at whatever-it-is. I’m just okay.’ And then they’ll say, ‘No, really. You’re great.’ And you say, ‘I’m really not, but thanks anyway for saying so.’ And they’ll say, ‘Yes, you are. You so are!’ And you say, ‘Gee, do you really think so?’ And they’ll say, ‘Totally!’ And then people think you’re good at whatever it is you’re good at, but they don’t think you’re braggy about it ’cause that makes you seem like a real tool. Plus, it’s unladylike.”
Adina stared. “That is quite literally the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard.”
“Thank you. I’m not really that ludicrous, but thanks anyway for saying so. See? That’s how it works.” Mary Lou gave a shy smile. “Um, that was a joke, by the way. I do know what ludicrous means.”
“Thank God.”
Out in the ocean, waves crashed over broken fists of treacherous-looking black rock.
Mary Lou played nonstop with a silver ring on her left ring finger.
“Pretty,” Adina said. “Special?”
“This? Yeah. It’s, um, a purity ring?”
“Oh. The old patriarchal chastity belt. Now in convenient ring form,” Adina snarled.
“It’s not like that,” Mary Lou said, blushing. “It’s a symbol. It shows that you’ve made a pledge to bring your purity into the marriage. It’s the ultimate gift to your husband.”
“Really? Like you can’t just give him a gift card to GameStop or something?”
Mary Lou stopped smiling. “You don’t have to make fun of me.”
“I’m sorry,” Adina said.
“Some girls need protection,” Mary Lou mumbled.
“What?” Adina asked.
