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How could he say that like it was nothing? “You can’t cut your tie. You’d end up resenting me—hating me—and I—”
“You can say a lot of things, Cosette. But you can’t tell me how I feel about this. I wouldn’t hate or resent you. I could never.”
No. I had to convince him how bad this would be. There was a reason why I hadn’t left the Lunar Court entirely. Severing a magical tie had big consequences. “You don’t know that.”
“Neither do you.”
Fine. I needed a new tactic. There was so much wrong with this “plan” that I had plenty to argue. “Do you know what kind of deal you’d have to make? Do you even know what you’re dealing with here? You—”
Van cleared his throat, cutting me off. I looked at Van and he gave me a small shake of the head that reminded me to keep my mouth shut.
Damn it. Damn Ziriel and his stupid, stupid deal. And telling Chris? That was amateur hour. I was better than this. Smarter. Yet having him here, it was making me weak and stupid.
So stupid and so, so weak. Which I couldn’t afford. Not right now.
Oh, no. I turned to Van, but he gave me a slow nod. He was thinking the same thing that I was.
I must’ve done something horrible in another life, if this is what it all came down to. If this was what I had to do.
Because it was going to kill me.
But it was the only option I had left. Maybe that’s why I had the dream I did. Not because of being held in Chris’ arms, but because I’d done this kind of thing before in front of him. Now I just had to do it to him.
I was already broken, my heart in icy tatters, but that didn’t mean that Christopher had to be this way, too. He deserved more than I could give him. He deserved the quiet life that he wanted. He’d worked too hard to be pulled into my mess. I’d never, ever be able to give him what we both wanted.
Maybe if I could help him find his peace—a life with family and children and a quiet home in the woods—then that could be enough for me, too.
So, I’d do it. I’d hammer the ice pick into the frozen remains of my heart, shattering what was left of it. I could do this for him. If I let him go, then I would be left empty and alone, but he would be free to find happiness. That would have to be enough.
I opened my eyes and filled my essence with the power of the Lunar Court. Moonlight pulsed through my veins, making my body hum with its power. Not everyone in the Lunar Court had control over the lunar tie. To have that, the fey had to be born into our court, descended from the original Lunar fey.
Being a princess of my court, I had more than that. I had too much power over the lunar tie, and over any werewolf, even the most Alpha of them all. I could change their minds, memories, decisions, and control their actions.
I always swore I would never, ever use it on my friends. It was a line that once crossed, I’d never come back from. But it was too late for me. I might as well take that final step and help protect the one thing that mattered to me.
“After I am done talking, you will leave this room and you will forget that you love me.” The light went out of Chris’ eyes and they glazed over as the magic hit him, and I knew it was working.
“Once you’re home, you will forget that you were ever here.” My voice was shaky with the power at first, but then grew steady. “You will forget seeing me alone. You will delete our messages to each other and get rid of any and all evidence of our friendship. And when you’re done, you’ll forget all about our relationship.”
Chris stumbled back a step, and his wolf rose to the surface trying to fight, but there was nothing he could do but surrender to the magic.
“We will be casual acquaintances at best. You will find me annoying and only barely tolerate me. I was someone who saved you a long time ago, someone who fought with you in the chapel and helps out when she can. Nothing more. When someone asks about me, you’ll change the subject. If they ask about our relationship, you will say there isn’t one. There never was. And you will never, ever return to any fey court ever again.”
The last of the magic washed through him.
The wolf settled down and his eyes turned to their normal blue. He dropped his head for a moment and let out a gasp, as if he felt the memories physically rip away from him.
There was a ringing in my ears as the magic I’d called in started to settle, leaving me a shaking, empty, heartless husk.
“I’m sorry.” He pressed his hand to his forehead as he looked around. “I must be lost. Can someone help me find my way home?”
Van nodded. “It’d be my pleasure. This way.” Van gripped Chris’ elbow, leading him out of the room.
Chris stumbled a few steps and looked back at me.
It was like he still saw me.
Maybe it hadn’t worked. I held my breath, not wanting to give in to the hope that he’d remember everything. That he was secretly powerful enough to stand up against the power of the Lunar Court. Because that would be impossible. And yet, I had this tiny, flickering flame of a hope left.
