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Lady Tallia never raised her voice. She never traded on her high position, unlike Duchess Rotrudis’ son Reginar, nor did she expect to be deferred to or made much of. Quite the contrary.
Her privations had become legendary among the novices. She never wore shoes, not even in the winter. Her diet consisted wholly of barley bread and beans. She never drank wine, not even on feast days. She never allowed a stovepot by her bed, no matter how cold it became, and she allowed no servant to wait upon her, as the other noble girls did, but rather insisted—when her aunt Scholastica allowed it—on serving the servants as if she were the commoner born and they the noble.
There even circulated a rumor that she had worn a hair-shirt under her robe until Mother Scholastica forbade her to indulge herself in such a prideful display of humility.
“Hsst!” said Baldwin. On his knees, face pressed up against the knothole, he peered through onto that which was forbidden them. “Here she comes.”
Ivar sank to his knees. The cold ground burned a chill into his skin through the fabric of his robe, and he wondered if he should go back inside. But inside sat Master Pursed-Lips, snoring by the stovepot, or Lord Reginar and his dogs, hoping to make life miserable for anyone who disturbed them while they diced. The second-year novices, led by Reginar, always diced just before Vespers, the only time during the day when novices were allowed a short period without occupation.
Only at this time did Tallia have opportunity—and privacy—to speak.
“Then why is it,” whispered Baldwin, turning away from the fence to let Ermanrich press nose and eye up against the knothole, “—if she speaks the truth—that she doesn’t testify in front of Mother Scholastica?” Like most handsome and favored children, Baldwin nurtured a blithe assurance that the adults in charge would bow before any reasonable, or passionately felt, request.
“Why didn’t you just tell your parents you had no liking for the noblewoman who wanted to marry you instead of claiming you had a vocation to the church?” said Ivar.
Baldwin’s beautiful eyes flared. “That wouldn’t have mattered! You know as well as I that liking matters not when it comes time for one family to ally itself with another. Especially for the family which seeks advantage in the match.”
“You’re too skeptical, Baldwin,” said Ermanrich.
“About marriage or Lady Tallia?” Baldwin retorted.
Sigfrid took his turn. As the female novices on the other side settled down with a rustling of cloth and several coughs and sniffles, he leaned back to speak. “Of course she would be condemned by Mother Scholastica and the other authorities if they heard her speaking such heresy!”
“Hush,” said Ermanrich. “I can’t hear her.”
Sigfrid moved aside and let Ivar take his turn at the knothole. Ivar squinted, seeing first a wash of faces and fabric blended together as his sight adjusted. Like the twelve virtues, virgins all, in The Shepherd of Hermas, the female novices and even the meek schoolmistress had gathered around Tallia to listen. Ivar matched faces with virtues. Tallia for Faith, of course; Hathumod for Simplicity; the elderly and mild schoolmistress for Concordia. The rest—unremarkable girls with their hair covered by shawls and with noses red, or white, from cold and their pale hands clasped devoutly before them—would do for Abstinence, Patience, Magnanimity, Innocence, Charity, Discipline, Truth, and Prudence. Of them all, only Tallia had a truly interesting face, drawn to a fine pallor by her austerities. But perhaps it was only her tinge of fanaticism that lent attraction to her. She had nothing of Liath’s warm beauty, but she was the only truly enticing object Ivar had seen at Quedlinhame since Liath had departed with the king’s progress.
“Death is the cause of life,” she was saying now. “By sacrificing the blessed Daisan in that ritual by which the Dariyans flayed the skin from the body of a living man, the empress relieved Him of His earthly clothing. So was He freed forever from His body, which He would not need in the Chamber of Light.”
“But why did he have to be killed like that?” demanded one of the girls. “Didn’t he suffer?”
“He already suffered by the measure of our sins.” Tallia lifted her hands and turned them palms up to display to her audience. “This is mere skin, molded from clay, nothing more than that. Like all else outside the Chamber of Light, it is tainted with darkness. We do not return to God in the flesh but rather in the spirit. It is our soul that ascends through the spheres to the Chamber of Light.”
“But then how could the blessed Daisan have come back to the earth and walked among his disciplas again, as you say, if he didn’t have a body?”
“Is there any power God does not have? She gave us birth. She gave birth to the universe—Ah!” Tallia gasped, swaying, and Hathumod, as stout a young woman as her cousin was a young man, held her up so she did not fall. “Lady bless!” said Tallia in an altered voice, high and breathless and yet somehow piercing. “I see a light like the blinding glance of angels. It penetrates the haze of mist that envelops the dull earth.” Head lolling back, Tallia appeared to faint.
Ivar jerked back from the fence to find Baldwin, Ermanrich, and Sigfrid clustered at his shoulder, pressing him back into the rough wood.
“What happened?” demanded Ermanrich.
The bells rang for Vespers and the four young men scrambled up guiltily to take their place in line.
Ivar braved Master Pursed-Lip’s willow switch to get a good look at the line of female novices as they proceeded into the church, but he did not see Lady Tallia among their number … and she never, ever, missed a chance to pray.
Nor did she appear before Vespers at her usual place the next day.
It took two days for Ermanrich to arrange a private rendezvous with his cousin, and then the news he had to report hit all four boys with horror.
“Hathumod says Tallia has been stricken with a paralysis.”
“Devils have inhabited her because of her heretical words!” said Sigfrid, biting at his nails. “She’s been possessed by the Enemy!”
“Don’t say such a thing!” Ermanrich’s ability to defer to the wishes of another—in this case his lady mother—without resentment had allowed him to enter Quedlinhame with a resigned heart and a peaceful spirit. He looked anything but peaceful now. “She lies as if dead, Hathumod says, with only the faintest blush of red in her cheeks to show she still lives. It is God who afflicts her, to test her faith with infirmity!”
“If it’s true she eats so little, she probably fainted from hunger,” observed Baldwin, whose appetite was as certain as the promise of the sun’s rising each morning. “My aunt said that’s a sure sign of starvation, when farmers are too weak to sow. The biscop enjoins us to sow charity and distribute grain in lean times for the good of our souls, but my aunt says we’d best do it for the good of our holdings.”
“Baldwin!” Poor Sigfrid looked deeply affronted. “How can you say such a thing, and in God’s house, may They forgive you for your disrespect.”
