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Why was that? I had never cared for any of the women in my life before. I hadn’t wanted to be there for them through breakfast the next morning, let alone be there for a life-changing event. But I wanted to be there for Rena. My thoughts were with her. What would she be going through? What was it going to be like? I hoped for her sake that her sister was a wonderful person and that the meeting went well. I hoped Rena would have the urge to phone me if she struggled afterward and would talk to me about what bothered her.
I didn’t think she would do the latter, though. Judging by the way she’d told me to leave and locked herself in her bathroom, she wanted nothing to do with me. I still didn’t know what I’d done wrong.
I received a few emails from investors, and I had to focus on that for a while. I was grateful for the distraction. I needed something to take my mind off Rena and everything that had been happening with her.
The investors were interested in putting money into some of the latest products I had planned. If I could get them to do that for me, it would change the entire marketing scene for my company. I would be able to do a lot more in terms of production as well. If this worked, my company would take that next step, and the only outcome would be more money.
It was what I was hoping for. I had to sit down with Joe again and talk to him about how we were going to approach it, but that would happen in due time. For now, I forwarded the emails and my answers to him so he knew where we were headed and could prepare himself for the future in the same way I was.
The rest of the day was hard. I tried to focus, but Rena and the baby popped into my mind every now and then, distracting me. Rena was so different from any of the other women I had been with before. When I was with her, I wanted to stay. When I left her, I missed her. I had never felt the way about someone the way I felt about Rena. Not even Gina, I had to admit. And Gina had been the woman I had considered marrying, once upon a time.
Would I marry Rena? If it meant we would raise the baby together and we would build a life, I would do it in a heartbeat. Rena was the type of woman I could see myself creating a future with. I hadn’t ever felt this calm about the prospect of marriage.
And the baby. I wasn’t panicked about Rena being pregnant at all. I didn’t feel anything negative. I was curious. I had never thought about having kids, and the idea wasn’t one I hated now that it had come this far. It really surprised me that I wasn’t upset about getting Rena pregnant or that I was now tied to a woman where I had preferred to be a lone wolf all these years.
I tried a little longer to work, focusing on replying to emails, looking at the numbers for our surveys, and taking care of documents and filing. After a while, I gave up trying to work and walked to the tall windows. I looked out over Chicago’s skyline, thinking about the things I’d been trying to push away all today. I thought about making a commitment to Rena, about moving in with her and raising a child with her. If I had thought about all these things a month ago, I would have laughed and shrugged it off as improbable.
It was insane how things changed in such a short span of time. I had become a different person, a person I barely recognized. And with Rena, it’d been so easy.
What would I be like as a dad? Would I be a good dad? I didn’t know what a dad needed to do, or how I needed to be. My dad had been a distant kind of man, someone with a killer work ethic and no sense of familial obligation other than the money he offered to pay for everything we needed. I didn’t want to be like that. I wanted to be involved in my child’s life. Money wasn’t everything.
Maybe Joe would be able to answer my questions, I thought. Joe was happily married, and he had two children, a boy aged seven and a girl aged five. He loved his children, and he put his family first no matter what. I didn’t want Joe to know everything that was happening between me and Rena, but I wanted to ask him what it was like. Maybe I could talk to him without giving too much away.
Joe was in his office when I knocked on the door, typing on his laptop. When he saw me, he grinned.
“I was expecting you. A bunch of investors, huh?”
“It’s looking good for the company.”
