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“Will the consuls still be there?” I asked nervously.
“Probably.” Mircea opened his eyes to frown at the ceiling. “The negotiations are dragging somewhat. The Consuls are currently asking why they should agree to an alliance when our chief adversary is dead.”
“They can’t be serious! We have a major war brewing in Faerie, Tony’s group is still on the loose and plotting who knows what, and we have no idea how Apollo’s fellow gods are going to take his untimely demise!”
“All valid points. Whether they will be enough to override centuries of suspicion and dislike is yet to be seen. The Consul believes they will, and I sincerely hope she is correct. I do not relish the idea of proceeding into Faerie on our own. But Antonio is hardly going to come out and face us after this.”
“So we have to go in and get him.” The thought didn’t make me any happier than it did Mircea. I’d been to Faerie once. I hadn’t enjoyed the experience.
“Yes, but that can wait for another day. To more important matters.” He looked at me severely. “Are you attempting to break up with me?”
“No! It’s not . . . That isn’t what I . . . I’d like to date,” I blurted out.
He raised an eyebrow. “By vampire law, we are already married.”
“But I’m not a vampire, Mircea! And I wasn’t exactly asked about the marriage thing!”
“You wish I had not claimed you?” His face shifted to the closed expression vampires use when they’re being especially guarded. Great. This was going about as well as I’d expected.
“No, that isn’t what I’m saying.”
I stopped and gathered my thoughts, trying to put what I felt into words. “I always viewed not having any attachments as a strength. I thought I was better off, not getting too close to people I’d probably just end up hurting. Sometimes, I still feel that way. I’m more of a target than before, more of a liability in some ways than I ever was. But I always will be now. And I can’t live the rest of my life closed off from everyone. . . .”
“Dulceata,” Mircea said patiently. “I am a target independently of anything you will ever do. And I assure you, I can take care of myself.”
I shook my head. “Nobody can be sure of that, not anymore. We almost lost Rafe; we did lose Sal—”
His eyes closed, and a flicker of something crossed his face. “If I had broken her bond as she asked, Tony would not have been able to use her.”
“He would have found someone else. We were vulnerable because of the problems within our alliance. He exploited it.”
“Nonetheless, I will blame myself for that, always. And for Nicu’s death.”
I swallowed. I was still trying to deal with that myself. He’d died to protect me, and I’d barely even known him. And the only times I had talked to him, I’d mostly been yelling. Marco was right—there was a lot about vamps I still didn’t understand.
“At least Marco’s okay,” I said, thinking about the last time I’d seen him. He’d been assigned a bed in the clinic, while the penthouse was being remodeled. He’d looked surprisingly cheerful for a guy who’d been staked through the heart. That would have killed anyone below master status, but Sal hadn’t lived long enough to take his head, too, so Marco would recover.
“But it looks like I’m off guard duty for a while,” he’d informed me, and then he’d made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a giggle. I’d just stared. I’d never seen him so happy.
“I have been too busy of late,” Mircea said, watching Dee strip a pink negligee off a mannequin while a valiant salesman tried to shove her size fourteen foot into a maybe size eight shoe.
“I don’t think it’s going to fit,” the sweating salesman gasped.
“If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that,” she muttered, and shoved it home.
“You’ve done the best you could,” I told Mircea. “That’s all any of us can do. And that’s . . . I think that’s what I’ve come to realize. I can’t keep the people I care about safe by distancing myself. They’re at risk anyway; they’re always going to be. I just have to love them now, while I can. Now is all we have.”
“I am afraid I am not following your reasoning, dulceata,” Mircea said gently. “You want closer relationships, yet you push me away?”
“I’m not putting this very well,” I said, frustrated. “What I’m trying to say is that the geis we were under gave us feelings for each other. But they were feelings we might never have had otherwise. I need to find out if what I feel is based on something more permanent than a spell gone awry. I want to get to know you. I want you to get to know me.”
“You wish to be courted?”
“If that’s what you want to call it. Yeah, I guess.” He looked thoughtful. I took a breath and almost did it—almost asked about the mysterious brunette. But then I let it out again without saying anything. Screw it. I’d had an awful week; I deserved a break. Besides, if I was going to his court, I’d have plenty of time to ask around. And if he did have a mistress . . .
“Is there a reason you are looking at me like that, dulceata?”
“Like what?”
