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“Here.” He flashed Gloria the photo he stared at every night while punishing his dick.
“Oh, my god.” She shot him a look of pity—as she repressed a grin. “She’s incredible. You really are screwed.”
“Glad you’re finding humor in this.”
“I’m laughing with you.”
“Do you see a fucking smile on my face?” He tossed the phone aside. Stood. Paced. “I have no control over how I feel and I hate it. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Understanding softened her eyes. “I think you’re falling in love.”
His stomach took a rolling plunge to his toes. “That’s not possible. It isn’t logical.”
“The heart never is.”
He plopped into his chair. “Shit.”
“Heavenly looks very fuckable. And if she’s stealing into your heart, she must be a good person. Why should any of that be a problem? Forget the age thing.” She waved his protest away. “I doubt she’s given it two thoughts.”
He let out a harsh breath. “She’s hung up on Seth.”
“Who the hell is Seth?”
“A friend of Liam’s who’s visiting from New York. He takes her on fucking picnics and sticks his nose up her ass like a damn dog. She’s too trusting to realize he’s a player looking to put another notch in his bedpost. She deserves more. Knowing he might be, even now, sweet-talking her out of her panties—and into her heart—is fucking crushing me.”
“Then why are you here? Get back to LA.”
“I always spend Christmas with you. I just wish that asswipe would go back to New York—and fucking stay there. God, what if I come home and he’s used her? Hurt her?” He gnashed his teeth. “I swear I will cut off his dick, throw him in a fucking ditch, and let him bleed out.”
“So much for your Hippocratic oath…” She was laughing at him.
“Some assholes don’t deserve to live.”
“That’s true enough. So what happens if he pops Heavenly’s cherry over the holidays? Would that change how you feel about her?”
Was Gloria really asking if he liked her for her hymen? “No.”
Though he’d be jealous as hell.
“This is fascinating, you know. She really has you unhinged.”
“She does,” he admitted. “And I don’t know why. The moment I looked at her, she did something to me. I’d write it off as simple lust, but every minute I’m with her, my feelings grow.”
“So let me get this straight… You’re worried Seth will seduce the woman you’re falling for but you’ve refused to touch since you’re a ‘pervert?’” Gloria shook her head like he was a dumbass. “Stop playing head games with yourself!”
“What would I do with a twenty-two-year-old virgin? Knit?” He threw his hands in the air. “I can see it now, me sitting beside Heavenly as we make scarves for people in…fucking Siberia. While she’s swatching colors and showing me the perfect stitch, I’ll be harder than hell and dreaming about tying her up in yarn, then sliding my fat cock somewhere—anywhere—inside her. Sounds like buckets of fun, doesn’t it?”
Gloria burst out laughing. “Oh, my god. You should hear yourself.”
“Shut up. I’m vomiting up my emotions here. I don’t know what to do.”
“Is she attracted to you, too?”
“Yeah. She flirts. She asked if I was single. I catch her looking at me like she’s thinking something hot enough to make her blush. But Friday after her shift ended, we talked about school and the holiday…and Seth. Then the motherfucking prick pulled up, and she kissed me on the cheek like some dirty uncle. Then she bopped out to his car and blew me off with a smile, while he saluted me with one finger.”
“Poor baby.” Gloria tilted her head—never a good sign. That meant she was about to dig deeper. “What’s she supposed to think? This guy is pursuing her, and you’ve never given her any indication how you feel.”
Beck rubbed at the back of his neck. “Maybe you’ve got a point. But I’m a hardcore sadist. I doubt Heavenly dreamed her Prince Charming would get hard by spanking her ass red. She needs a patient lover with a tender, compassionate touch, not…me.”
“Oh, Ken. You can be tender and compassionate. It might have been a while since you’ve done the vanilla thing, but—”
“Try fifteen years.”
“It’s probably like riding a bicycle.”
“I’m not sure I’d even enjoy the bicycle anymore.”
“You, not like sex?” She scoffed.
“You’re missing the point. I’m seriously asking myself if I could give up kink for her and stay sane.”
Gloria squeezed his hand. “When we met, you were an angry man in a teenager’s body, needing a way to process everything, and there’s nothing more emotionally cleansing than sex. You helping subs purge their pain helped you to purge your own. But you’re not that kid anymore.”
Not only had Gloria saved him from life on the streets, she’d changed him from a boy to a man with patience and dignity. After sex, she’d refused to allow him to retreat behind walls of shame or pointless guilt. Instead, she’d merely lain beside him, warm and naked, and coaxed him to talk about his feelings. When she’d realized he craved control during sex, she’d introduced him to a Dominant who’d taught him what to do with submissives and pain sluts. Then nature had taken its course.
