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“You don’t have to, honey. I don’t work downtown or the slums anymore. I’m renting a bank of posh new condos with lovely views of the Strip. Each of the girls has her own apartment. It’s all very discreet and upscale. I have an office down the hall, along with security…”
“I want to drive around, catch up a little. My car is low on gas, and I’d rather take yours.”
Gloria shrugged. “Here are my keys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t enjoy.”
Beck took the ring and headed to the garage, Gloria in tow. After climbing behind the wheel, he fired up her new Cadillac and left the subdivision in silence. Sagely, she didn’t speak and add to the noise in his head.
He’d dropped her off in a matter of minutes with a promise to return for her after sunrise. She waved him off after a compassionate brush of her lips on his cheek. “You’ll figure this thing with Heavenly out. You’re too smart not to.”
Right now, Beck wasn’t sure that was true.
Once she’d disappeared into the swanky building, he steered toward the highway. He fought the urge to rush home to Heavenly. Instead, he zipped in the opposite direction, up the ramp to Interstate 15, heading north toward the desert. There were no people or chatter out here. He could think.
Turning on both the heat and the stereo, Beck sped down the long, flat highway, not even sure where he was going. Was he running from his future…or facing his past?
As he sailed through the tiny town of Mesquite and zoomed over the border into Arizona, Beck had his answer. Past it was.
What could he possibly hope to find in the shithole he’d abandoned long ago? Closure? Forgiveness?
Answers.
Gloria was right. If he ever wanted more out of his relationships than pain and meaningless sex—if he wanted to figure out if he had any future with Heavenly—he had to come to terms with the nightmare he’d left behind.
Ninety minutes later, the mountain peaks reached toward the stars. Dread gnawed at him. But he’d come this far; he wasn’t stopping now. So Beck stomped on the gas pedal. It didn’t take long before familiar signs lured him off the interstate and onto another highway. His gut clenched as he traveled the last long minutes to hell.
Finally, he slowed, pulling into the all-too-familiar gas station and cutting the engine. The place looked older.
He stepped from the car. It was colder here, the air thinner, the wind more brutal.
Quickly, he pulled out his wallet and slid his credit card into the slot. He’d rather not be here, but after a couple of hours on the road, Gloria’s tank was empty, and this was the only game in town. He didn’t have a choice.
Didn’t that sum up his entire childhood?
As he stood pumping gas, he gritted his teeth against the wind and stared inside the run-down convenience store. Déjà vu slammed his system. He’d been here a hundred fucking times, holding his mother’s hand and eyeing candy he hadn’t been allowed to buy. Was the woman even alive anymore? Did she ever think of him?
He shoved those questions back, along with the memories. But more rushed in to take their place, snippets of the past he’d buried under rage, resentment, and regret. And all of it had culminated in this one place…
His gaze slid to the side of the building, where his old life had ended and his new one had begun. The image of that damn rusted green pickup parked just outside the restrooms, along with the body slumped in the driver’s seat, flashed through his brain. The jagged slice along the man’s throat had gushed, splashing his pristine white shirt. Beck swore he could still smell the bitter copper scent filling the cab as blood dripped to the floorboard.
He jerked back to the present to find sweat sliding down his face. Hands shaking, he focused on the gas pump, reminding himself that was a lifetime ago. But he couldn’t seem to snap himself back to the present. One memory—the only one he cherished from his years here—lay waiting like a mental landmine. It had the power to blow his mind.
Easing down to the dirt behind the barn, he lifted his chin toward the sky. The summer sun warmed his skin while the scents of hay and horses melding with the dry desert filled his lungs. Usually, he found serenity in this secret place, but today anticipation buzzed under his skin.
Peering around the corner, he watched the house across the road and waited. Several nerve-racking minutes passed before he saw the girl lugging a basket of laundry toward the clothesline.
Rising slowly, he drank in the sight of her budding feminine curves. A thick blond braid lay draped over her shoulder, caressing one breast.
Mentally counting to ten, he made sure the coast was clear before sprinting her way. He darted between two hanging white sheets billowing in the wind and skidded to a stop. “Psst. Blessing! Hide in here with me.”
