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“You need to fucking leave,” Ben growls.
“I’m not going anywhere. If Luna wants me gone, she will tell me,” Gavin says. I hear him talking even over the roar of my heart pounding echoing in my ears.
“Leave,” I whisper—at least I think I’m whispering, I can’t be sure.
“Luna,” Gavin says, but I don’t let him finish.
“Leave, Gavin. I… I don’t know what you expected, but I… I just can’t deal with this right now.”
“You will have to eventually,” he promises. “I’m not going anywhere, Luna. I’m here to stay.”
“Maybe, but I don’t have to deal with it right now. You need to leave,” I tell him.
Ben opens the door and waits. Gavin gives me one more agonized look that despite not wanting to, I feel in the soles of my feet—because I feel the same.
“This is not over,” he says, walking out the door.
“It is. You just aren’t accepting it yet, Lodge, but you will,” Ben urges, making my heart squeeze.
Is it over?
Gavin’s declaration rocked me. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. When he closes the door, Ben turns to look at me.
“Sweetheart, it will be okay. He’ll get the message and then things will go back to normal. We just—”
“Ben, you need to leave too,” I tell him softly. I know what I’m going to say will hurt him, but I can’t help it. It’s hurting me too, but right now I’m not sure how to make him understand that.
“Luna?”
“It’s too much, all of it is just too much. I need some time.”
“You’re going to buy his lines, after all of the hell he’s put you through.”
“That’s not it, Ben. I’m not going to Gavin. I just want to be alone.”
“Luna, damn it—”
“I just had the father of my child announce that he’s moving back to Stone Lake and will be an active part of my child’s life. I need time to process everything. I need time to breathe without… pressure.”
“I’m not putting pressure—”
I suck in a breath and exhale. “But you are. You want me to say that I don’t have any feelings left for Gavin.”
“Luna…”
“And I can’t do that, Ben. Not right now. I… I just need time to think,” I tell him, feeling as if my heart is breaking and maybe it is…
“You’ll let me know when you get your shit lined out,” he mutters, opening the door and turning away from me.
“Ben…”
“Just don’t count on me waiting around for you to decide if I’m worth your time, Luna,” he says and leaves. I listen to the door closing, standing there, looking but not really seeing anything. I sink to the floor, heart pounding in my chest, wondering why it feels like I’m a young girl, feeling the heartbreak of love all over again?
Gavin
Two days. Two days and I’ve gotten nothing but silence from Luna. It’s not that I expected more, but I had hoped… Maybe some things are just too big to overcome. And maybe I’m just stupid for thinking a woman would still have feelings for a man who left her thirteen years ago.
I meant what I said though. I’m moving home to Stone Lake. I never thought I’d do that in a million years, but Luna is here, and most importantly Josh is here, and if I’m ever going to have a relationship with my son, I have to be close to work on that. Luna may very well be out of my reach, there’s nothing I can do about that. I can only hope that eventually my son will at least try to see me… to talk to me.
In the meantime, there’s nothing I can do but work—which I am. I’ve combed through everything Sam found on Larry and Darren. Unfortunately, it’s not a lot. Both men had opportunity, both men could be the killer. Larry was even on a business trip the week I was attacked and almost killed by this bastard. That makes him a logical choice, but I can’t arrest a man on that alone. I need some type of hardened proof.
And I sure as hell don’t have any right now.
I push away from the small desk that I have in my hotel room, in disgust. I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels here. This guy is so damn frustrating. I always feel like I’m doing nothing more than waiting for him to kill again in hopes of getting more clues to who this son of a bitch is.
That’s not why I got in this business. I started this career because I thought I could make a difference. Instead, this guy has been killing for years, and I can’t seem to do one fucking thing to stop it. The frustration of that is more than I can stand today. It doesn’t help that he struck again right under my fucking nose. He killed a woman who had been nice to me and he did it while I was drunk on my ass, or at least recovering from being drunk on my ass. If the Bureau finds out about that I’ll probably be put on leave. Hell, I probably deserve to be. I’m not about to report it though. I don’t want to be twiddling my thumbs and sidelined while this crazy fuck is this close. I know he’s close too. I can feel it in my damn bones. I stand up and go to the window that overlooks the alley. It’s a shit view, but then I’m rarely here.
