Page 63 of The Zahir


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Why are we born if, in the end, we die?

What does God mean?

The steppes respond with the constant sound of the wind. And that is enough: knowing that the fundamental questions of life will never be answered, and that we can, nevertheless, still go forward.

Mountains loomed on the horizon, and Dos asked us to stop. I saw that there was a stream nearby.

"We'll camp here."

We removed the saddlebags from the horses and put up the tent. Mikhail started digging a hole in the ground.

"This is how the nomads used to do it; we dig a hole, fill the bottom with stones, put more stones all around the edge, and that way we have a place to light a fire without the wind bothering us."

To the south, between the mountains and us, a cloud of dust appeared, which I realized at once was caused by galloping horses. I pointed this out to my two friends, who jumped to their feet. I could see that they were tense. Then they exchanged a few words in Russian and relaxed. Dos went back to putting up the tent and Mikhail set about lighting the fire.

"Would you mind telling me what's going on?" I said.

"It may look as if we're surrounded by empty space, but it can't have escaped your notice that we've already seen all kinds of things: shepherds, rivers, tortoises, foxes, and horsemen. It feels as if we had a clear view all around us, so where do these people come from? Where are their houses? Where do they keep their flocks?

"That sense of emptiness is an illusion: we are constantly watching and being watched. To a stranger who cannot read the signs of the steppes, everything is under control and the only thing he can see are the horses and the riders. To those of us who were brought up here, we can also see the yurts, the circular houses that blend in with the landscape. We know how to read what's going on by observing how horsemen are moving and in which direction they're heading. In the olden days, the survival of the tribe depended on that ability, because there were enemies, invaders, smugglers.

"And now the bad news: they've found out that we're riding toward the village at the foot of those mountains and are sending people to kill the shaman who sees visions of children as well as the man who has come to disturb the peace of the foreign woman."

He gave a loud laugh.

"Just wait a moment and you'll understand."

The riders were approaching, and I was soon able to see what was going on.

"It looks very odd to me--a woman being pursued by a man."

"It is odd, but it's also part of our lives."

The woman rode past us, wielding a long whip, and, by way of a greeting, gave a shout and a smile directed at Dos, then started galloping around and around the place where we were setting up camp. The smiling, sweating man pursuing her gave us a brief greeting too, all the while trying to keep up with the woman.

"Nina shouldn't be so cruel," said Mikhail. "There's no need for all this."

"It's precisely because there's no need for it that she can afford to be cruel," replied Dos. "She just has to be beautiful and have a good horse."

"But she does this to everyone."

"I unseated her once," said Dos proudly.

"The fact that you're speaking English means that you want me to understand."

The woman was laughing and riding ever faster; her laughter filled the steppes with joy.

"It's a form of flirtation. It's called Kyz Kuu, or 'Bring the girl down.' And we've all taken part in it at some time in our childhood or youth."

The man pursuing her was getting closer and closer, but we could see that his horse couldn't take much more.

"Later on, we'll talk a bit about Tengri, the culture of the steppes," Dos went on. "But now that you're seeing this, let me just explain something very important. Here, in this land, the woman is in charge. She comes first. In the event of a divorce, she receives half the dowry back even if she's the one who wants the divorce. Whenever a man sees a woman wearing a white turban, that means she's a mother and we, as men, must place our hand on our heart and bow our head as a sign of respect."

"But what's that got to do with 'Bring the girl down'?"

"In the village at the foot of the mountains, a group of men on horseback would have gathered around this girl; her name is Nina and she's the most desirable girl in the area. They would have begun playing the game of Kyz Kuu, which was thought up in ancient times, when the women of the steppes, known as amazons, were also warriors.

At the time, no one would have dreamt of consulting the family if they wanted to get married: the suitors and the girl would simply get together in a particular place, all on horseback. She would ride around the men, laughing, provoking them, whipping them. Then the bravest of the men would start chasing her. If the girl was able to keep out of his grasp for a set period of time, then the man would have to call on the earth to cover him forever, because he would be considered a bad horseman--the warrior's greatest shame.

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