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“Funny, considering it’s the one area you need the most help with.”
“Stop it children!” Adell interrupted with her hands raised. “That is enough. Someone is going to say something they'll later regret.”
Startled at Adell's reproachful tone, Laura and Dexter went silent. His face remained stone cold and as hard as a rock; the only movement was a twitching nerve along his jaw.
“I'm afraid it's too late for that,” Laura quietly stated, recalling her foolish declaration in the cottage.
The nerve in Dexter’s jaw jerked before he spun on his heel and exited the room, leaving Laura to wonder if the same memory had come to mind. “I'll wait for you in the car mother.”
As soon as he left, Laura whirled on Adell. “Oh Adell, why didn't you tell me he was coming?”
“And what, let you plan your attack?” The woman went for the sink and began cleaning up. “You would be surprised at the feelings revealed when caught off guard.”
“Adell, you don't still hope your son and I will-will form a union?”
“Hope? No, I know you two were meant to be together.” She said it so matter-of-fact.
Laura gave a worried frown. “You don't understand, Adell. Dexter told me. He d-doesn't lov—care for me.”
The woman faltered momentarily, before grinning at Laura. “My son is very stubborn, isn't he?”
She sighed wearily. She didn't want to talk about it anymore in fear the older woman would only raise her hopes once more. Dexter was a man of his word. Hadn’t he said as much himself? He had no tolerance for foolish romantic notions or dreams. His outright feelings regarding that subject, he had been more than candid about, painfully so.
The following day Adell returned as promised. Laura was glad to have her help and company. Even more so since Dexter had not returned. Or at least that was what she told herself. Less than two weeks left to Christmas and Laura's home was nearly ready for the reopening. Some of the furnishings were destroyed by the fire but since had been replaced, though in whole, the home had the overall appearance it had never been touched by disaster.
Upstairs, she finished assembling the beds back together and tucked new crisp bed sheets over mattresses donated by the local Salvation Army. Standing up, she glanced over the room and inhaled the fumes from the recently painted walls. It gave it a new fresh quality and for Laura, a tingling sensation of excitement. Soon these rooms would be filled with young girls again and giving Laura's life meaning once more.
Turning, she headed for the attic door. Almost with reluctance, she turned the knob and ascended the stairs. Up there had been the core of the fire. In only minutes it consumed her past, her present and her future. It swallowed up in its angry thirst all dearest to her.
The walls she could rebuild, but some things could never be replaced. She felt tears burn the back of her eyes, and swallowed the hard lump forming in her throat. One step at a time, she slowly reached the top landing and stood looking around the empty room. Above her head a large skylight had been fitted where none had been before. It brightened the room, no longer dark and gloomy but emitting warmth and a cheerful glow. Laura had never approved the feature, a luxury she was sure she could not afford, but she was glad it had been installed nevertheless.
Without warning, an image came into view of herself kneeling before a box of charcoal remains. Quickly shaking her head to rid of the memory, she turned sharply on her heel. As if the fire itself was after her she hurried down the steps and slammed the door shut. Adell had just come up from the floor below looking startled at Laura, as she lay back against the door, her eyes wild with sorrow.
“Laura dear, what's wrong?” She instantly went over and touched the girl's arm.
At Adell's touch, her nerves calmed and her eyes visibly quelled their fears. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself away from the door. “Just old nightmares chasing a foolish girl.”
“Not a foolish girl,” Adell firmly stated. “Laura, what you went through was very traumatic. Maybe you should consider talking to someone professional.”
“Therapy?” She shook her head. “I'm fine Adell.”
“Those ghosts may never go away.”
She looked at the older woman, startled. The woman's depth of understanding was
impressive, as well as her sound advice. If Laura had her wits about her, her own psychology background would agree with the older woman. But since this whole ugly incident happened, she had not been herself, overcome with grief and self-pity.
“Really, Adell, I'm fine.”
“I do hope you think it over some more. You see, I've heard those words before. Fourteen years ago from a boy who had life and love in his heart. That same boy grew into a cold and bitter man.”
She knew Adell was right. The question was, did she have enough strength. For it was strength she needed to face her fears straight on. Fears that included more than just the fire, but which had begun and grown since her father's death.
She was afraid of being alone. The box of Christmas memories had only been yet another desertion. Cherished feelings of being part of a family vanished for good when that last tie went up in smoke.
She knew what she had to do. Adell was right. It was time she sought help. What good would she be to the girls at the shelter if she couldn't begin with herself? Then, possibly, with a little more courage and strength on her part, help Dexter in the process.
CHAPTER 9
