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He had risked getting too close to her. Stolen kisses when he knew he shouldn’t have. Tasted her softness and savored in her sweetness. Yet, was left with an ache and hollowness that would stay with him always. For he knew he never would again. Her newfound hatred toward him would only deepen the wound in his heart. She blamed him for her grandfather’s stroke. He saw it in her eyes. Heard it in her voice. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but thought perhaps it was for the best.
They had become far too close as of late. He needed to separate them. Break the bond that was forming. For when it came time to part, he would ensure there would be no more pain on her part. For him it was too late.
Erika gladly leaned into Ryan’s embrace, shooting up a silent prayer of thanks once more for sending him back home the moment she needed him most. There was no way she could have dealt with the grief alone.
Never before in her life had she ever felt so alone. So utterly, wretchedly alone. She had come close when her parents had died. Even though she was young, the memory of the pain was all too fresh. But her grandfather stepped forward and taken her in. Took care of her. Nurtured her. Given her anything she ever wanted.
And she had betrayed him. His words echoed in her brain. The resentment in his eyes forever scarred into her memory. The hatred.
Erika closed her eyes and wished tears would come. But none came. All she felt was numb. And anger.
He was not supposed to kiss her. He should never have kissed her. His choice cost her the life of her grandfather. The only person left in her world.
Ryan gently placed her in the surrey before climbing up and sitting next to her. Behind her, she heard Fiona climb into the back. R
yan picked up the reins and started the horses down the road toward home. They passed along the river that ran far below the bluff and Erika stared at the railroad bridge that spanned the mouth of the river.
An image of Jay holding her as she cried over her grandfather’s displeasure came to mind. She felt the sting of tears in the back of her eyes, and ignored the longing that ached to be held like that once again.
Instead, she turned her attention to the harbor and the Francesca sitting at port. Tonight she would set sail once again. Oblivious to the sorrow and misery she felt. And take Ryan with her once again.
Erika turned and looked at him. “I want to get married.”
Fiona gasped in the back seat. “Erika—“
She ignored the reprimanding tone and the words that would surely follow, and fixed her stare squarely on the man next to her.
The look of shock on his face would have had her quickly retracting her words before she lost her grandfather. Now, she was free to speak. Free to live. Free to go where she pleased.
She would not stay here. This town held far too much grief. Far too many memories.
“Sweetheart,” he said, stalling she knew, but waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. “Erika, you are hurting greatly over your grandfather. Perhaps this is too soon to think about.”
She shook her head and seized his arm in a determined gesture. “I know exactly what I want. What I’ve always wanted.”
He simply stared at her, searching her face, then sighed softly and nodded. “All right. If that’s what you truly want.”
Erika released his arm and sat back in her seat. There was silence behind her and for some reason, she actually felt like smiling. Oddly, not because Ryan just agreed to marry her, but because she went after what she wanted and not someone else’s ideal. And got it.
“We’ll go now,” she said. “We’ll go directly to the church and marry.”
This time, Fiona did not remain silent. “Have you gone mad, child? You just buried your grandfather.”
Erika ignored her. “We’ll sail together tonight on the Francesca.”
Ryan frowned. “I’ll need to inform my family. They will want to be there.”
Jay’s face immediately came to mind and Erika bristly pushed it aside. She did not want him there, but knew she could not marry without Lillith Colby attending her son’s wedding. It was not her intention to hurt Mrs. Colby.
“All right,” she reluctantly agreed. “Take me and Fiona home, let us change and pack my trousseau. We shall meet at the church in half an hour.”
After being dropped off at the front entrance of her home, Erika hurried up the flight of stairs to her room to prepare herself for her journey.
“Come Fiona,” she hollered at the woman who lingered back watching her with frightened eyes. “Help me. I must hurry.”
“You’ve gone mad!” she hissed quietly. “You’ve barely put him beneath the earth and already going against his orders.”
At this, Erika spun around, her eyes burning like the devil themselves. “Don’t you talk to me in that insolent manner. I am the lady of this house, and soon to be married. I will not have you talking to me as if a child. Now pack my belongings!”
